Mom refuses to let neighbor's 7-year-old play with her 4-year-old son after discovering neighbor is using her as a free babysitter every weekend: ‘She didn't even thank me for looking after her child’

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    Tired mom trying to work with her kids around her.
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    AITA for not letting our neighbors kid stay over anymore?

    So my sons Alex (4) best friend Jay (7) lives across the street. A year ago or so I suggested a playdate at ours, his mom was happy about that, because I quote,,I can focus on my older
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    one for an afternoon and help her with schoolwork". My son was genuinely super excited and we prepared games and ordered pizza and it was super fun.
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    What began as a planned once in a while playdate, turned into weekly unpaid „babysitting" sessions for me. Mind you I work part time, my husband full time, I am still in Uni and we don't have
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    a support system here, since we live far away from any family or friends.
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    Every weekend for about 6 weeks straight he would come over unannounced and spend 3-5 hours at ours. If we had plans to go somewhere it was always a cry-parade from
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    my 4 year old since he didn't understand why his best friend had to leave. Fast forward to a month or so ago, I ran into Jays Mom and we talked a bit, I told her how
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    stressed I was with uni and everything and I had some midterms coming up, which were super important and needed my full attention.
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    She never once offered to have Alex over for a change, which is fair, I didn't ask her directly and she has no obligation to offer. But what she did next was were | drew the line.
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    The following week, Alex and Jay were playing outside with my husband, whilst I was studying for my upcoming exams. An hour or so later it started pouring and they decided to come back inside our apartment. It was around 1pm.
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    I told Jay he had to ask his mom first before he was allowed to stay here and I'd rather him stay home with his family since I had to study and my husband was going out with some friends
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    (which had been planned for weeks since his friends live in another city). He called his mom and she said that it was okay for him to stay there, since she had stuff" to do anyway. She runs a business and her busiest days are usually on weekends.
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    A young boy sitting on a wooden swing
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    I was left flabbergasted, but I didn't want to break my son's heart and also I felt bad for Jay. So I let it pass without saying anything (I know my mistake), what started as a short stay
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    ended with them sending his sister to pick him up at around 9pm because Jays Mom, - husband and older daughter decided to go to an event site Jays Mom was hosting or
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    something and SPEND THE WHOLE DAY THERE. Without even saying a word. (Side note: Jays Grandparents live 5 Minutes down the street, where she could have dropped him off anytime)
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    (Of course I texted and called her during the day she said she was working and they would be home back soon to pick Jay up).
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    Honestly I was p. ed, she didn't even care to come pick him up herself and thank me for looking after her child for a whole day, she just sent me a WhatsApp saying Thank you that's it.
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    Since this happened I have not allowed Jay to come over anymore. I feel used and not appreciated. AITA?
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    zombie kittens Why did you tell him to ask his mom if he could stay when you didn't want him to stay? That one is in you. Your husband should have taken him home and said he was going out, so here's her kid back. Stop letting him come over if you aren't up for it. The mom isn't going to pick up on your hints.
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    byrandomchance20 ESH. Jay's mom is taking advantage and definitely s ks more BUT you're not innocent because you're refusing to communicate.
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    Instead of letting things build up to the point where resentment is boiling over and now you've banned the neighbor kid from coming over, you could have, dunno, been up front with his mom about things. Set some boundaries
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    like Jay is only allowed over X times or only when his parents call ahead and make arrangements with you with explicit time limits. If you like the kid (other than the responsibility of watching him) and he and your son get along and it
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    would be worth communicating openly with the other parents and coming to a better understanding. Sometimes people are natural takers and sometimes they're just literally clueless. But either way you
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    can settle some things by actually expressing your feelings and needs with words, not just hoping someone catches your vibe.
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    Azuralyns NTA. She turned a cute playdate into a free weekend daycare subscription and hoped you wouldn't notice. The 9pm pickup after saying she was "working" would've sent me into orbit.

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