Mom orders exact copy of 20-something daughter's wedding dress in blue to wear to her wedding, daughter calls her out

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  • Should I Wear a Wedding Dress Like My Daughter's?

    My daughter got married last year. About a year before her wedding, we went to a wedding dress shop and she tried on a blue dress that really suited her. We agreed that we'd order in the dress in ivory and I paid for that plus a veil. Money is tight right now so I sold some jewellery to pay for it. She had her wedding and looked lovely.
  • When I went to pay for the dress, the shop owner said that she was selling the blue dress off cheap because nobody wants blue. My daughter didn't know, but my partner and I had also decided to get married. We kept it quiet until after her wedding so we didn't take attention away from her..
  • I knew that the blue dress would suit me and it was a very good price so I agreed to buy it for my wedding and left it with the shop. I was intending to cut off the train and have no veil. I'm in my 60s so a full-on bridal outfit doesn't seem right.
  • Last week, I told my daughter that I'd bought the blue dress for my wedding. I was very surprised when she said she didn't want me to wear a dress that she'd tried on and was like hers. I explained that I'm 35 years older, it is a different colour, I'd have no train or veil, and I couldn't possibly upstage her. Also, she's already had her big day.
  • Now, she's insisting I get a different dress and won't even go to that same dress shop with me. My wedding is only 2 months away now so I haven't time to order in a dress now. Not many dresses suit me so I don't know if I can find one in time. I don't know what to do. I think she's being selfish.
  • Commenters gave their takes on this story.

    TheCherryPony Tell her you will get something different if she pays for it as you already sold jewelry to pay for her dress. She is being very selfish.
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  • sovietbarbie You deserve to feel and look beautiful at your wedding, too. Wear the dress, your daughter will get over it.
  • External_Detail_26 Your daughter is being ridiculous. She has already had her wedding day and her time to shine and be in the spotlight. You are getting married in a dress
  • without a veil, a train, and in a blue dress, not a white one. I highly doubt people will even recognize it as being the same dress but in a different color.
  • random929292 Just wear it. She chose her dress for her wedding, you can choose yours. It isn't the same. She can be put out if she wants. That is life.
  • j night_noche Your daughter is a selfish But it's not totally her fault, that she's this naive and gullible. The wedding industry has really done a
  • number on people, women in particular, to make them think that a wedding is more important than just the VOWS.
  • Yumtasm Your daughter kind of sks lol. NTA its a dress for your wedding.
  • TKyzr Wow that didn't go where I expected it to. This one's tough. Info: did she accuse you of trying to upstage her?
  • lizzieb77 I might be going against the grain here, but depending on how distinct the dress is, I think it's a bit weird to get the same one in a different color. I would definitely
  • notice if I saw that at 2 family weddings. Her "trying on" comment is off-base- it's not the fact that she tried it on that's the issue, it's the fact that it's actually her wedding dress in a different color.
  • Nottednugent404 NTA your daughter is being the AH. Tell her she can pay for another dress if she doesn't like it. I wouldn't even remember what a prior brides dress looked like enough to even consider
  • yours was similar if I had attended both weddings. That's something that for the most part, only the bride cares about.
  • hereforthescones2 If it's the exact same dress minus the train then I think I would probably be a bit annoyed too. Is there anything else you can do to the dress to make it different? Add or remove sleeves? Beading? Idk but just having the same dress in a different color would irk me.
  • Skylarias So you ordered the identical dress, just in a different color? Yea YTA. That's kinda weird. You couldn't find literally any other dress?
  • Extension-Clock608 YTA. Why in the world did you think that was a good idea? It's the same dress and you know it. It's not her fault that you wasted your money and
  • bought that dress, it was definitely a mistake and you will be wrong if you wear it unless you get it altered so that it doesn't resemble her dress at all. You were the selfish one for picking the same dress that she had. You definitely had other choices and didn't need to.

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