Wife-to-be refuses to remove family memorials and photos after her fiancé says they make him uncomfortable, leading to a fight that leaves her “rethinking a lot of things”

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  • Last night my fiancé (25 M) and I (26 F) got into an argument after coming home from the movies. It started by him saying I was being boring and not talking while
  • coming home. For a little context, I have been working all week and waking up at 5:00 a.m everyday. This specific weekend my fiancé had to work the morning shift
  • This specific weekend my fiancé had to work the morning shift instead of his usual night sh_so he had to be up at 6:00 a.m. I am the type of person who can not
  • hear someone else's alarm and go back to sleep. Once I am awake and there is sunlight, im up for the day. So after the movie it was 11:30 p.m and I was a little tired. I
  • told him this in a calm way not trying to make him feel bad but he started saying I never take accountability and always have an excuse for how I act.
  • Woman lying on a couch indoors with one arm behind her head, looking upset or deep in thought.
  • After about 20 minutes of petty arguments he was talking with his hands and knocked a jar that my grandfather gave me off the table.
  • In the moment I said," Oh no my Grandpa gave me that. :(" and started trying to clean everything up. I guess he had cut his hand on some of the glass and went to the
  • bathroom to fix it up but I hadn't noticed. When he came back he started in on how I don't care about him and only care about all of the sentimental stuff around
  • the house. He says he hates that he has to tiptoe around and worry about not breaking stuff. He told me it makes him uncomfortable to see the photo of my family and the flower memory glass I have.
  • He said it's sad that I still hold on to that when they've been gone for so long and it depresses him to live in a house of that reminder.
  • He also said that they never cared about me but he does so why would I keep that trauma around me all that time and not focus on him.
  • For some reference my parents both passed when I was young, and my brother a couple years ago. All 3 lost their battle with depre s on and addiction at different times of my life. I have a
  • Woman lying on a light blue couch and looking thoughtful in a bright living room.
  • small memorial thing with the only family photo we had which was when I was 3 and my brother 10. It's very small and on a middle shelf of a 3-tier corner shelf in our living room. As for anything
  • else he would have to "tip-toe" around it would be just small hand-me-down items from my grandparents that I use as decoration or a couple furniture items.
  • After he said this I told him these are things that mean a lot to me and that I would not take them down because they make him uncomfortable. I told him that
  • there are a lot of decor items around that house that aren't exactly my taste but I would never make him take them down because this is his space too. He
  • kept taking me explaining this so badly and started taking all of this pictures off the walls. He got so offended by me saying I didn't like some of his wall art but him saying that about very personal items of mine is okay?
  • So, AITAH for refusing the take it down? Is it weird that I have the memorial when it's been so many years? Or is he being unreasonable and insensitive? I'd appreciate any input!
  • Edit** To add a little more context on our relationship, we don't argue much and when we do it's usually over small things. We've been
  • together for 6 years now and engaged 2. Before last night he was always so respectful and understanding. He even helped carry the casket at my brothers
  • funeral. He was there for me through everything and never made me feel like a burden when I would spill all of my trauma after a few too many glasses of wine.
  • He also lost his brother 2 month after mine. We went through a lot of the same pain around the same time and that grew us a lot closer.
  • This past week his brother trial was going on and he had to sit through all of that trauma again. That man was found guilty for anyone who might be curious. But anyway not excusing his actions or anything he had said but just to give context that the past week
  • has not been the best emotionally. So that is a major part of why the argument started.
  • For the jar, it was on a small shelf close by to where we were talking and it did not look like he did it on purpose. (However, I will never truly know) The cut happened
  • when he bent down to try to pick up a pice. Hope this can give a little more insight to why I am with him in the first place and what led up to this. lol
  • I am for sure re-thinking a lot of things and trying to get together how to have a conversation with him. I appreciate all of your comments!

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