33-Year-Old Girlfriend Berates Boyfriend for Telling Her To Find a Job Because Her Contract Expires in 2.5 Months

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  • A couple argues on the couch
  • GF's work contract is up in 2.5 months, I asked her to start looking for another job.

    My (33m) girlfriend (29F) is upset at me for telling her to start looking for another job just incase her current job doesn't renew her contract. Her contract is up in 2.5 months and told me that I am "filling her with anxiety" by suggesting to find another job. She was caught off-guard and wasn't thinking about a backup plan.
  • Since we are in a city with a lot of competition, I thought it would be best for her to have a plan B. Instead she is taking issue with my suggestion and even called me "feminine" for not being okay with her (I never said I wasn't okay with it) being potentially unemployed for several months.
  • She says I am pressuring her and felt that I underestimated her abilities but I was only trying to be helpful as recruiters have told me that the best time to find a job is while you already have one. AITAH?
  • Commenters wondered what was really going on here.

    UniversalLilies the "feminine" thing is a problem, full stop. Does she often call you names during arguments? Also, how are her financials? Does she have enough saved for a period of unemployment, or would she be living off you?
  • Sallybrown0310 NTA You always need a plan B in life. If she was smart, she'd be looking rn, and telling her current gig that she needs to know if they are going to extend her or what her end date is because she is getting a lot of queries from other places as to when she will be available. She needs to look as if she is in high demand!
  • Dungeon Mooses I'm sorry, she called you feminine for caring that your entire shared financial situation could possibly end up only on your shoulders for an unknown period of time? As a woman who has never expected someone else to pay for anything for
  • her she was seriously trying to make you feel awful to manipulate you into lowering her anxiety by saying you got everything don't worry. I get that she is probably very anxious though, and looks for reassurance but she took it too far. Don't ever call your man unmasculine in any form.
  • a couple on their phones on the couch
  • imtheproblem3232 It sounds like she's expecting you to be her Plan B. Pretty ridiculous tbh
  • MotelTheTailor1903 NTA. If she doesn't have a job lined up when her current one ends, don't pay a dime's worth of her way for anything. Just tell her that would be too "feminine" of you.
  • XKvotheXX 4 words better safe then sorry just an opinion NTA
  • mca2021 NTA I've always told my kids. you never quit a job unless you have a backup or at least 6 months of expenses saved. Does she have any savings, in case her contract isn't renewed? She's being naive if she isn't preparing.
  • by either looking or actively saving. Has she talked to anyone about her contract being renewed or is she planning to find out right before the contract is over?
  • Patrickosplayhouse How long you been together? Long enough for it to be ok she's insulting your manhood for suggesting she job hunt? Nta
  • BookishIntrovert99 NTA. It can take a long time to find a new job, and it might take longer than two months.
  • Jonathan-Welford NTA you were asking a civil question. Assuming you live together, who will pay the bills if her contract isn't renewed?
  • StarieeyedJ NTA. There's nothing wrong with having a back up plan. There could be a number of reasons why they wouldn't renew her contract that have nothing to do with her ability. or how hard she works.
  • ToxikWind You're NTA. Real advice? You might want to break up with her. She's calling you feminine because you're trying to be practical here. Femininity and masculinity aside, she's insulting you when you're just trying to look out for the future.
  • DizzyAstronaut 9410 Realistically in the current job market a lot of white collar jobs will take 3+ months between applying and actually starting, and that's if she's successful immediately, which also isn't very likely for most people.
  • Yes it's super reasonable to start preparing and avoid 6+ months of unemployment where I assume you'll be the one expected to make up the difference in expenses.

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