-
-
I (30M) think my GF (40F) is delusional about her plan to become a doctor
Man speaking to a woman with a serious, measured look, like patience has finally turned into a difficult question, as shown by a model.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Woman gesturing intensely beside a withdrawn man, like a stalled plan has finally turned into a hard conversation, as shown by models.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Watching someone you love hold onto a dream that the evidence suggests they are not actually pursuing sounds like the absolute worst, and somehow not knowing whether you are being unsupportive or just honest sounds even worser.
His girlfriend has been telling him she will become a doctor since before they were together. She failed the entrance exam, moved the timeline, changed the city, underestimated the years of study by half, missed the next exam entirely, and has never once been seen studying. When he raised the idea of moving to Australia, she agreed immediately and suggested taking out a loan at 41 to fund a decade-plus of medical school there. He is not questioning her dream. He is noticing that the dream and the behavior do not match at all.
The cruelest part of this situation is that he might be completely right and it still does not make the conversation easier. She is 40, she has a research background, she clearly has the intelligence and the credentials to have done this. Something got in the way years ago, life was not fair to her, and now the dream has become more of an identity than a plan. Talking about becoming a doctor and actually studying for the entrance exam are two very different things, and she seems to have found a way to have the former without confronting the latter.
He called it delusion, which is harsh, but not entirely wrong. The more generous reading is that she is protecting herself from the grief of admitting it will not happen by keeping it permanently in the future tense. The harder question is what he does with that, because they are talking about moving in together, and he is essentially being asked to build a life around a plan that has missed every single deadline it has set for two years running.
Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.