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A picture representing somebody making the social media post the friend saw
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A depiction of how important weddings are for people
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I’m not married, and my friends do not tend to get married, so I only watch everything that unfolds around weddings from afar. Some people grew up thinking this was the most important day in their lives, so it’s very difficult to convince them otherwise, or at least to get them to understand that other people’s lives don’t revolve around weddings. Something similar happens with birthdays: when somebody doesn’t come to our birthday, we get super offended, and we probably missed some friend’s birthday before like it was nothing. In the moment, it’s really hard to accept we might have a double standard or that if we're not invited, it might not mean something deep.
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Sometimes we have trouble understanding that some friendships end and that fact doesn’t rewrite all the years the friendship lasted. To me, the same happens with romantic relationships. When they end, we rationalize everything and think, ‘If it ended, all that came before was a lie,’ and I think that, culturally, we should start shifting towards a paradigm that can hold both truths at once: it was true and it also ended.
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A photo of a statue representing grief
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I think grief is very valid in situations like this, and I don’t know if it’s just me, but when a friendship lasted for so long, I grieve what’s not here today, but I also keep the possibility open in my mind for a future reencounter. Nothing- neither pain nor happiness- is permanent, and what hurts us today might not be interpreted as such in the future. I haven’t seen this way of thinking reflected in any of the things we’re constantly fed lately through social media and the internet in general, but it’s what works for me. What do you guys do?
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