Michigan woman turns her car around and drives 12 hours home instead of taking her sister to the family's North Carolina beach house after the sister refuses to stop kicking her seat: ‘You can drive yourself and we will just drive back to MI now’

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  • AITA for turning around and driving 12 hours back to Michigan instead of taking my sister to our family beach house?

    Woman sitting behind the steering wheel of a car, viewed through the front windshield.
  • I (26F) live in Michigan with my boyfriend (26M). I'm a school speech-language pathologist, so I have summers off, and my boyfriend works remotely, which gives us a lot of flexibility when we travel.
  • We had driven from Michigan to North Carolina to visit my parents for about two weeks.
  • Since we were driving 12 hours home afterward, we had absolutely everything with us, including over two weeks' worth of luggage, our dog, his crate, dog food, and all of his supplies.
  • Originally, we were planning to drive straight back to Michigan on June 30th. However, my parents own a beach house in Myrtle Beach, and my mom invited. one of our longtime family friends (who also lives in Michigan and has known our family our entire lives) to stay there for a few days.
  • Photo of a woman in a car with bold text reading “I told her everyone was making sacrifices to make the trip happen.”
  • My younger sister (22F) decided she wanted to go too. Everyone thought it would be fun if we all spent a couple of days together before my boyfriend and I headed home.
  • So my boyfriend and I changed our plans. Instead of leaving June 30th, we extended our trip until July 2nd, rearranged our travel plans, used additional PTO on my boyfriend's end, and planned our drive around making the beach trip work.
  • The plan was: My boyfriend and I would drive my sister from my parents' house (just north of Charlotte) to Myrtle Beach.
  • We'd all spend a couple of days there with my mom and our family friend. My sister would ride back to North Carolina with my mom afterward.
  • My boyfriend and I would leave from Myrtle Beach and make the 14-hour drive back to Michigan.
  • The day before we were supposed to leave for Myrtle Beach, my sister announced that she was spending the night at a friend's house in the Raleigh area (about 2 hours away from my parents home in CLT) instead of coming home.
  • My boyfriend and I wanted to leave around 7:00 a.m. so we'd get to Myrtle Beach around lunchtime and actually enjoy most of the day.
  • My dad even texted my sister asking if she could come home earlier because he knew we'd already rearranged our travel plans around taking her.
  • Woman driving a car with one hand on the steering wheel, viewed from the passenger side.
  • She refused. She didn't get home until around 9:15 the next morning. By that point, my boyfriend and I had already packed the SUV.
  • To give you an idea of how full the car was: two weeks' worth of luggage, our dog's crate, dog food, dog supplies, everything we'd need for the drive back to Michigan, plus my sister's things.
  • My sister only needed clothes for two days at the beach, where there were already towels, toiletries, and pretty much everything else she'd need.
  • She came outside with a full-size suitcase, a duffel bag, and a large cooler. We unloaded and reloaded the SUV at least four different times trying to make everything fit.
  • Eventually we did. Barely. I actually volunteered to keep multiple bags at my feet so my sister wouldn't have anything on the floor in front of her.
  • I was basically sitting cross- legged because there wasn't enough room for my legs. Everyone was cramped.
  • Nobody was riding comfortably. Before we had even backed out of the driveway, my sister started complaining that she didn't have enough room.
  • She immediately asked me to move my seat up. I told her I genuinely couldn't. There was nowhere for me to move.
  • She rolled her eyes and started muttering things under her breath loud enough that everyone could hear she was upset.
  • I consciously decided not to engage. I wanted us to get to the beach. I kept reminding myself that everyone was uncomfortable and that it was only about a four-hour drive.
  • A minute later she asked for my phone charger. It was actively plugged into my phone, but I simply unplugged it and handed it to her because I didn't want to start an argument.
  • Then she started repeatedly pushing her knees into the back of my seat. I ignored it.
  • She kept doing it. I still didn't react. A few minutes later she escalated again by stretching both of her legs between the front seats so that her feet were hanging between my boyfriend's and my heads while he was driving.
  • That was where I finally said something. I asked her if she could please move her feet.
  • She said no. I asked again. I acknowledged that everyone was uncomfortable. I apologized that I couldn't create any more room because there simply wasn't any.
  • I reminded her that my boyfriend and I had completely changed our travel plans, extended our stay, and planned our drive around taking her to Myrtle Beach because she wanted to go.
  • I told her everyone was making sacrifices to make the trip happen. She still refused to move her feet.
  • At that point I finally said something along the lines of, "If this is what the next four hours are going to be like, we're turning around.
  • You can drive yourself and we will just drive back to MI now." Without hesitating she replied, "Great.
  • Do it." We were only a couple of miles from getting onto the interstate. My boyfriend turned the car around.
  • On the drive back, my sister called my mom. She sounded completely calm and said something like, "Hi Mommy.
  • I think Sarah and Mike are just going to drive back to Michigan, but I'm still coming." My mom asked what happened.
  • My sister handed me the phone. I explained everything while crying because, by that point, this no longer felt like it was about a car ride.
  • While I was trying to explain, my sister was yelling over me from the back seat.
  • By the time we got back to my parents' house, we were both yelling. She got out of the car and started unloading her things.
  • While I was still talking to my mom, she started screaming at me to give her phone back.
  • I locked the doors because she was so angry. She started banging on my windows and yelling.
  • When she finally walked away for a second, I set her phone on the ground beside the car.
  • She came back, punched my car door (leaving a nice dent), got in her own car, and drove toward Myrtle Beach by herself.
  • My mom's response was essentially that my sister and I needed to figure it out ourselves and that I should "be the bigger person" because I'm the older sister.
  • So my boyfriend and I left and began the 12- hour drive back to Michigan. Later that day I noticed my sister's location was at a gas station off of the highway and hadn't moved for hours, so I called my dad to figure out what was going on.
  • He told me that she had gotten a flat tire and ended up stranded waiting several hours for roadside assistance.
  • My dad later told me that he was on his way to pick her up and my parents were trying to figure out how to get her to Myrtle Beach STILL.
  • Meanwhile, my boyfriend and I completed the entire drive back to Michigan. Neither of my parents called or texted to ask if we'd gotten home safely or to check on us after everything that had happened.
  • The reason this affected me so deeply is because, to me, it wasn't really about the cramped car.
  • Everyone was uncomfortable. It wasn't really about the beach. I would have loved to go. It was that I felt like I spent the entire beginning of the trip trying to keep the peace.
  • repacking the car multiple times, giving up my own leg room, handing over my phone charger, ignoring the comments under her breath, ignoring my seat being kicked, apologizing that I couldn't physically move, and repeatedly trying to acknowledge that everyone was uncomfortable.
  • All so try to accommodate my little sister, who I was already bending over backwards for.
  • I feel so disrespected, and my parents reaction makes me feel like I don't even deserve the basic respect.
  • The moment I finally set a boundary, the entire trip ended. So...AITA for turning the car around instead of trying to endure four hours of conflict?

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