Woman thinks her best friend of ten years is in love with her, friend says she is not and she doesn't believe it: 'Now, years later, I still question myself. Was there something I was unconsciously feeling and suppressing?'

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jul 9, 2026 8:00 AM EDT

I'm Not In Love - 10cc

This story is the final proof that no absolute narrative exists; two people can have two opposing interpretations of what happened, and most of the time there is no use in trying to convince one of them otherwise. The most frustrating part is when part of that narrative is made up of assumptions about what we feel and think that could easily be refuted if the other person talked to us, but in life, you very often have to learn to let go of many, many things that stay unresolved. What would you do given this situation?

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  • a couple of women smiling
    via Bruno Ngarukiye

    The two best friends before everything collapsed

    Subject is a model

  • My best friend of 10 years thought I was in love with her. I never was. Now I’m questioning my own reality.

    I'm trying to understand a friendship dynamic that still confuses me years later.
    via ladyboss25
  • I had a best friend for around 10 years. She was one of the most important people in my life. She constantly complimented my looks, my personality, and my energy. She told me things like she loved
    via ladyboss25
  • me, that she couldn't imagine her life without me, and that I was extremely special to her. She also talked about scenarios where we would live together someday.
    via ladyboss25
  • At the same time, the friendship was incredibly intense and confusing. For a while she would text me 24/7, reply immediately, and want to spend time together constantly. Then she would suddenly pull
    via ladyboss25
  • away, cancel plans, and become distant. Later, I noticed she seemed to create similar intense dynamics with other people as well. Eventually, I told her that I didn't feel emotionally
    via ladyboss25
  • supported in the friendship. I wasn't asking for anything romantic. I was simply saying that I missed emotional depth and feeling like she was there for me when I was struggling.
    via ladyboss25

  • I believe some people reserve intensity for romantic relationships and don’t allow those kinds of feelings, or even a slight dependence, in friendships. To me, it’s totally okay to handle your relationships like that, but it gets a little strange when she assumes her friend is in love with her because she was intense in the friendship. Again, it might be because she doesn’t understand how someone could act like that towards a friendship, when she only acts like that if she is in love, but the refusal to even discuss it with her friend is sort of odd.

  • Years later, I tried to talk to her about how much the ghosting hurt me. I cried. because I couldn't understand how someone who was so important to me could disappear without an explanation.
    via ladyboss25
  • During that conversation, she kept asking if I had something to "confess" emotionally, as if I was going to admit that I had romantic feelings for her. That completely confused me because I never
    via ladyboss25
  • two women speaking
    via LinkedIn Sales Solutions

    The woman prompting her friend to confess 

    Stock photo provided as a visual representation

  • experienced our relationship that way. I identify as straight, I have always been attracted to men, and I was never consciously in love with her. Now, years later, I still
    via ladyboss25
  • question myself. Was there something I was unconsciously feeling and suppressing? Or was this
    via ladyboss25
  • simply an extremely intense friendship where my attachment and need for emotional safety were mistaken for romantic feelings?
    via ladyboss25
  • How do you interpret a situation where someone mistakes deep emotional attachment and wanting closeness for romantic love? Has anyone experienced something similar?
    via ladyboss25
  • two woman laughing sitting on the grass
    via Meredith Spencer

    The woman finding a better friend in the future

    Subjects are models

  • I’m so sorry the remark affected the girl so much that she is still wondering about it today; at the same time, I’m glad she is trying to work through it in therapy, because she will likely be fine in no time. I think she doesn’t have to convince her friend of anything to know what really happened for her. In the end, she just found out she wasn’t compatible with someone whom she thought was her friend, and her needs were misunderstood; that’s it. I hope she finds better friends in the future.

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friendship friends toxic relationship
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