27-year-old bride-to-be takes golden retriever her 19-year-old sister raised for 4 years to give the dog a "better life", so younger sister refuses to stand by her at her wedding: 'She called me selfish'

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  • 01
    Tm ruining one of the biggest days of her life over "some dog."
  • 02
    I (19F) still live at home with my parents while I attend community college and work part-time. My older sister (27F) moved out years ago and is getting married in about a month.
  • 03
    About 4 years ago, my family adopted a golden retriever. Technically he is the family dog, but everyone knows he's really mine. I was the one who trained him, walked him every day, bought him toys, paid for food when I could, and covered some of his vet bills. He slept in my room every night and followed me around the house.
  • 04
    A few months ago, I went on a week long trip through the college. While I was gone, my sister came over to visit my parents and decided the dog would have a "better life" living with her and her fiancé because they have a huge house and a big backyard. She never called, texted, or asked me.
  • 05
    I came home expecting my dog to greet me at the door like he always did, but instead my mom casually said my sister wanted to keep him. I honestly thought she was joking. When I realized she wasn't, I completely lost it.
  • 06
    I confronted my sister, and she said I was overreacting because "he's still alive" and "you can visit him whenever you want." She also called me selfish for thinking about my feelings instead of dog what was best for the dog.
  • 07
    The worst part is my parents agree with her. Since I still live at home, they said they have every right to make that decision because the dog lived in their house too. Maybe legally they did, but emotionally it felt like they took away a member of my family while making sure I wasn't there to have a say.
  • 08
    Since then, I've barely spoken to my sister. Now she's getting married and wants me to be one of her bridesmaids. I told her I wasn't comfortable celebrating someone who would make a huge decision behind my back and not even apologize for it.
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10648040704
  • 10
    Now my parents, grandparents, and a few other relatives are calling me immature and saying I'm ruining one of the biggest days of her life over "some dog."
  • 11
    I honestly don't think it's just about the dog anymore, it's about trust. If someone can make a decision that big with it giving me a phone call, I don't know how I'm supposed to pretend everything's okay just because it's her wedding.
  • 12
    Aria1031 100% NTA. You're right, the relationship between you and sister now has no trust or respect. How would you be able to stand up and support her when she obviously has no regard for you?
  • 13
    MedicinalWalnuts NTA. Your sister stole your dog and your parents let her do it. They ought to understand why you don't trust them anymore.
  • 14
    TurkeynCranberry NTA During the wedding go get the dog.
  • 15
    Lovebug-1055 I couldn't support someone who took my dog from me. By being in her wedding and any other family celebration. tells her what she did was okay. I could never forget that. Such a sad state of disrespect to take your dog without even calling you first.
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  • 17
    casadega NTA. I would take some time, calmly and clearly write out what you've said here and say that basically your sister AND your parents broke your trust, stole your dog, ignored and diminished your feelings about it, and are now acting like you have a responsibility to people who are the ones who fundamentally changed the relationship.
  • 18
    The hardest thing to do is to stay calm and hold the line when you want to break down and scream at them. Unfortunately cold, calm, and boundaries are what tend to work best. If possible I'd be looking for ways to live out of your parents' (but I stayed til I was 23, so I completely get it not being feasible).
  • 19
    I don't know how you can come back from this with your parents or your sister.
  • 20
    I would also send them an invoice for dog training, vet bills, treats, food, etc. Because if you were caring for "you sister's dog" and training him, you deserve to be compensated for it. This makes me so furious that I would look into filing a police report or small claims court. If
  • 21
    you have vet bill receipts and point of contact with the vet you might be able to prove ownership. If this happened to me ... I don't know...I would go scorched earth...and I love and am close to my family.
  • 22
    ClodaghSnarks Oh my God. NTA. The biggest of big NTA. 100% NTA. I don't even have any pets and if this had happened to me I would have gone absolutely nuclear. This is straight up cut people off territory. I am so, so sorry that this happened to you OP.
  • 23
    mollyjane666 If it's just some dog she can give it back.
  • 24
    Gattina1 I'm ruining one of the biggest days of her life over "some dog." NTA. You aren't ruining anything. Your sister ruined your relationship because she's selfish. She knew how you felt about the dog.
  • 25
    the dog would have a "better life" living with her and her fiancé Bulls. They took the dog from the only home he's known for the last 4 years. And anyone who calls it "some dog" should never be around it, anyway.

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