Daughter refuses to give her nephew the Honda her father promised him without asking because she was saving it for her own son: ‘He had absolutely no authority to give away something I own’

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Jul 21, 2026 11:15 AM EDT

What happens when someone gives away something that was never theirs?

Family disagreements can be difficult enough, but they become even messier when someone makes promises they have no right to make. After a father tells his grandson he can have his daughter's car without asking her first, she's left choosing between protecting a promise she made to her own son and disappointing a nephew who thought the gift was real.

We can totally relate to the OP here. I understand there was a family agreement in which she agreed to lend the Honda to her nephew once he had his licence because he was going to need transportation to get to college. Now, time passed, and she decided she was going to give the car to her son, since it sounded more appropriate and it's her car at the end of the day.

Things took a turn when the grandfather promised and told very explicitly to the nephew the car was going to be his. This left the woman thinking and feeling extremely bad because she ended up refusing it and saving the vehicle for her kid. Of course, and as we can expect, this unfolded a big family drama, causing her parents to blame her and look terrible.

It's obvious that family relationships are very complex, and since there are always a lot of feelings involved, it's very common to hurt someone without wanting to. So, even though the nephew was disappointed and sad, the woman did great in respecting her own decision and having the freedom to decide what to do with the vehicle. The grandpa overstepped and assumed things that weren't true, which eventually caused this whole drama dispute.

Every family can learn from a situation like this to respect private property and to ask before committing to something it will more likely not going to happen.

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  • Young driver smiling behind the wheel of a car at the center of a family dispute.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    Young driver smiling behind the wheel of a car at the center of a family dispute.

    Image is for illustrative purposes only.

  • I have a 2012 Honda Civic that I bought new and drove for years before replacing it last fall. It's still reliable, fully paid off, and has been sitting in my garage while my 18-year- old son finishes getting his license.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • The plan has always been to give it to him once he passes his test. He knows that, my husband knows that, and my parents have heard me mention it more than once.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • Last weekend, my brother and his 19- year-old son came over for dinner. At some point, my nephew suddenly thanked me for "letting him have the Honda."
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • I thought he was joking.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • Then my dad said he had promised the car to my nephew because he needs transportation for college, and "your son can wait a little longer."
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • I immediately told everyone that the car was not available and that Dad had absolutely no authority to give away something I own.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • My nephew looked embarrassed, which I understand, because he clearly believed the promise was real. My brother, however, got angry and accused me of humiliating his son after getting his hopes up.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • Dad said he assumed I didn't need the car because it had been sitting unused. He also said giving it to my nephew made more sense because my nephew already has his license.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • I reminded him that I had specifically said the car was being saved for my son.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • He then suggested that my son could just borrow one of our current cars whenever he needed one, while my brother's family only has one vehicle. That may be inconvenient for them, but it doesn't somehow transfer ownership of my property to my father.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • Woman taking a phone call after learning her father promised away her car without permission.
    via Unsplash+ (via Andrej Lišakov)

    Woman taking a phone call after learning her father promised away her car without permission.

    Image is a representation of the people and events described.

  • My brother also pointed out that my husband and I are better off financially than they are, which apparently means we should solve their transportation problem without even being asked.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • Now my nephew has stopped responding to me. My brother says I'm choosing a car over family, and Dad says I'm only being stubborn because I don't like that he made the decision before I did.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • My son heard the argument and now feels guilty. He said maybe his cousin should have the car because college is more important than him using it for work and school.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • I told him no, because this was never supposed to become a competition between the two of them.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • I do feel bad for my nephew. He believed an adult had promised him a car, and now he's disappointed. But I wasn't the adult who made that promise.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • My dad was, and he made it using my car.
    via RhaegonFyre44

  • Luckily for the OP, most Redditors confirmed what she was thinking: she was entitled to decide what to do with her own car, and if she eventually kept it for her son, she had that right. Maybe this would cost more drama inside her family, but all of them agreed that the grandfather was the one who messed up.

  • Seeker131313 Your dad made the promise to nephew about getting a car, so it sounds like Dad is now on the hook to buy him one.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • joebarking Obviously, no. I'm sorry for your nephew but this mess is on your father, you did nothing wrong, so don't worry about it and don't give in, same for your son.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • Teen driver taking a driving test while waiting for the car his mother had promised him.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    Teen driver taking a driving test while waiting for the car his mother had promised him.

    The individuals pictured are models used for illustration.

  • joyesthebig Its cause your a woman. You have a man to take care of you. Thats the deep logic of taking away something of yours to give to him. Happens in indian families all the time. Social disease.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • Major_Energy_1968 I love the way some people feel entitled and totally justified in giving away someone else's property! Help me make sense of that.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • acmech900 Tell your dad and brother to go to h_l. Go straight to help and don't stop to pee along the way. Tell dad to buy your nephew a car.
    via RhaegonFyre44
  • RelationBig4907 Your dad was totally out of line. And your brother should have verified this with you first. Your son comes first period if you're selfish for that then so be it. Your brother had years to save up. That's what they get for counting your pockets....
    via RhaegonFyre44

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