Man pays an exaggerated compliment to an insecure friend and now regrets it: ‘Now, whenever she gets the chance, she puts other women down by using that comment’

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jul 24, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

When a compliment is used for evil purposes

Insecurity is a double-edged sword. When a wound is so open like that, people tend to look for quick, effective ways to soothe its pain, but nothing quick really works, so it stays open, and things like this happen. Compliments get metabolized into aggressions used to defend the wound that bleeds without anyone touching it. This process, of course, is not the flatterer's fault, but it's nevertheless interesting for him to observe it.

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  • woman facing mirror
    via Marcko Duarte

    The woman looking at herself in the mirror 

    Subject is a model

  • I lied to my friend about how she looks, and now she won't stop bragging about it

    I needed to confess this, because it's already something that for some reason bothers me.
    via Local-Finger-3396
  • I'll be honest, my friend isn't ugly at all, but she is very insecure. One time, she messaged me saying she felt really bad about how her face looked.
    via Local-Finger-3396
  • Because I was tired of hearing the same thing over and over and constantly having to
    via Local-Finger-3396
  • reassure her that she wasn't ugly, I told her she looked like the model Adriana Lima.
    via Local-Finger-3396
  • woman looking anxiously towards hand mirror
    via Septian Simon

    The friend wondering about her appearance

    Image is representative

  • Again, my friend isn't ugly, but she looks nothing like Adriana Lima-except maybe for her skin tone, haha.
    via Local-Finger-3396
  • But now, whenever she gets the chance, she puts other women down by using that comment. Today, she posted a note
    via Local-Finger-3396
  • that said: "Me, beauty like Adriana Lima; them, trashy 'buchona' beauty." I really regret boosting her ego like that because
    via Local-Finger-3396

  • I’ve exaggeratedly complimented people before, and they never used it against others; it seems as though this girl has a lot more going on with her appearance than we can see at first glance. First, we can assume that even though she felt ugly, one comment from someone else was accepted immediately and interpreted as truth, so she not only felt ugly, but she seems to also be very malleable in her perception. So we went from ugly to Adriana Lima, but what strikes me the most is that even if she were an Adriana Lima type of beauty, using that to put down other women is still a character flaw to look out for.

  • people I know have told. me she doesn't look like her at all and have even made fun of her for it. I'm not really looking for
    via Local-Finger-3396
  • advice, just an opinion: Was it wrong of me to boost her ego like that? I just feel so embarrassed by how she's acting now, lol.
    via Local-Finger-3396
  • man looking through window with worried expression
    via Ethan Sykes

    The friend regretting the compliment he gave

    Not actual subject of the story

     

  • I don’t think he was wrong by complimenting her, really; maybe if he had said something like that to somebody who was more self-aware, it would’ve been like: ‘Thanks, but I know I don’t look like her’ or something like that. I even think the exaggerated compliment turned out to be useful because it showed something dark about her that he should start to take into consideration.

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friendship friends toxic relationship
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