Sister Charges Sibling $12 to Use Her Shower, Flips Out When They Demand Payment for Feeding Her Cat While She’s on Vacation

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 24, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Should doing a favor for a sibling come with a charge?

As a general rule, family helps family, but this arrangement often comes with a whole host of terms and conditions. The basic instinct to come to the aid of a loved one when they need it is complicated by the messy reality of history, relationships, and clashing personalities. Sometimes, people can try to rely a little too heavily on what their relatives provide, and others don't want to provide any support in the first place.

What makes these scenarios even trickier is that some family members see no problem with switching things up on you. Their behavior can come as a surprise when you are depending on their help. Occasionally, this is for valid reasons, but other times it is little more than a power trip. No family dynamic is simple, but some are certainly more complicated than others. 

It is especially egregious when you are willing to do something for a relative, but they will not return the same kind of favor. You might think that this is a situation with equal give and take, but not everybody is going to treat it like that. This can be the cause of arguments.

 

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  • A person's hand holding a bowl full of kibble in front of a black and white cat
    via Renato Leal (Unsplash+)

    A person's hand holding a bowl full of kibble in front of a black and white cat

  • A sibling was surprised by how their sister treated them when they asked to use her shower while the plumbing in their building was being worked on. She agreed, but only on the condition that they pay her $12 to cover the costs of using it.

    They felt like this deal was not fair, as they regularly took care of her cat for free when she went on business trips. Next time she requested their services, they told her it would come with a charge. Neither she nor their mom was happy with this, but they felt like they had been justified in setting a price.

  • Am I wrong for charging my sister to feed her cat after she charged me $12 to use her shower?

    My younger sister lives about ten minutes away and gave me a spare key last year because she travels pretty often for work. Whenever she was gone I would feed her cat, clean the litter box, bring in packages and sometimes even water all her plants. I never asked for money because it was close by and I like the cat.
    via Fearless-Will-7270
  • A few weeks ago my apartment building had plumbing work and we had no water for most of the day. I asked if I could shower at her place while she was at work. She said yes, but later sent me a request for $12. She said she thought it was fair because I used her water, shampoo, conditioner and other bathroom stuff.
    via Fearless-Will-7270
  • I thought she was joking but she reminded me twice until I paid it.
    via Fearless-Will-7270
  • She left town again this weekend and asked me to take care of the cat. I told her I would do it for $20 a day since we are apparently charging each other now. She got mad and said pet care is different because she trusts me and I already have a key and it doesn't cost me anything. I told her to find someone else and said I would return the key whenever she comes to collect it.
    via Fearless-Will-7270
  • Now she says I am punishing the cat over $12. Our mom also thinks I should just let it go because my sister is trying to budget and save money right now, but that excuse made even less sense to me since she charged me for one shower.
    via Fearless-Will-7270
  • A black and white cat eating kibble from a pet food bowl with a water bowl beside it
    via Renato Leal (Unsplash+)

    A black and white cat eating kibble from a pet food bowl with a water bowl beside it

  • Global_Piano_2429 Your mother just volunteered to cat-sit.
    via Global_Piano_2429
  • xShockmaster Your sister is a weirdo and has a warped mentality. No you shouldn't feel bed and it's kinda gross to charge a family member who helps you out for a favor like that.
    via xShockmaster
  • figbash 137 Wait till she finds out how much a pet sitter costs...
    via figbash137
  • FusionHype23 NTA she turned her money problems onto you and didn't like it when the tables turned. You handled it perfectly.
    via FusionHype23
  • HealthyShelter5346 "It costs you nothing" means that she doesn't value your time, because your time means "nothing" to her. She's a mess. I earn $24/hr for pet sitting from a lovely family, so I think you are being quite fair by giving her a discount ;)
    via HealthyShelter5346
  • Foodielicious843 I would not have paid. I would have asked her first if she rather I pay the $12 or keep taking care of her cat for free.
    via Foodielicious843
  • Only-Top-3655 It costs you time! and at the end of the day aren't we all trying to budget and save money? If she is going to be a total brat like this, going forward I wouldn't do anything for her. She sounds like a person that only knows how to take and not give.
    via Only-Top-3655
  • Vamoose87 NTA. She deserves it, charging you for a shower after all the free pet care. Your shower probably didn't even cost her $2
    via Vamoose87

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family drama siblings money problems pet sitter
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