‘They’re destroying my house and refusing to change their behavior’: Woman lets her chronically messy 54 and 59-year-old parents move in temporarily, and it quickly wrecks her home and tests her patience

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jul 7, 2026 6:00 AM EDT

You'd think being an adult means you get to leave childhood messes behind, literally. But nope, invite your parents over for "just a few months," and suddenly you're starring in a live reboot of your worst childhood memories, this time with better lighting and a mortgage

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  • I (37f) have been moved out and on my own since my early 20s. I actually love my parents and have a great relationship with them, however, I cannot live with them because they can be careless sloppy people.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Woman in a green shirt stands in a kitchen with eyes closed and one hand on her head.
    via DimaBerlin

    Woman pausing in a kitchen with her eyes closed and hand to her head, like household chaos has finally drained her patience

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I grew up with cockroaches and mice being a regular infestation, food is left out everywhere m, random patches of mold growing in places, and a house with leaks that they don't tangibly fix.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • When I started living by myself (because I moved to another city to work), I quickly realized living with bugs or living in a mess was not normal.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Thankfully, my first few roommates have taught me how to properly clean and take care of my space.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Now I am married, with kids, living in a house my partner and I bought about three years ago.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Our space is always cleans. Recently, my parents' horse was damaged after a flood, and they needed to evacuate while the repairs took place.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Given I do have a good relationship with my parents, I invited them to stay with us for the few months it would take to repair their house.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Within a week of them moving in, I saw my first cockroach in years. Now, I have a whole infestation that I am. paying expensively to fix, yet, it keeps coming back.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Woman in a green shirt standing in a kitchen with one hand in her hair, surrounded by potted herbs.
    via DimaBerlin

    Woman standing in a kitchen with her hand in her hair, looking overwhelmed like her patience is wearing thin

    Representative image. woman shown is not associated with the events described.

  • the other day, my fridge broke while my partner and I were at work (it was an old fridge on the end of its life cycle).
    via ThrowRA7844
  • The fridge started leaking water, and instead of cleaning it up and informing us about it, my parents did something (i'm still not sure what) which caused it to leak water through its back pipes.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • I didn't realize my fridge was broken until I noticed my basement ceiling boards leaking water, and I checked above it to see my fridge's water pipe leaking out water.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • I asked if anyone knew, and my parents said they did, but they knew how to clean it up.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Now we have to get a new fridge and repair their soaked ceiling boards and get a plumber to fix the pipes.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • For the past few days there was a foul oder coming from somewhere in the house that I could not find.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • It wasn't until my parents admitted that they accidentally forgot to freeze some fish they recently caught on their fishing trip, and so it's been sitting in my garage for the last few days, causing my house to smell so bad.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • They did say that they genuinely forgot until I they themselves went to check after I complained about the smell.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Obviously, I snapped at them and told them they had to follow the rules of my house.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • They kindly told me that they're both getting older now, and their memories are not what they were.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • They'd both claimed they don't think they can change their habits as it's so deeply ingrained in them, and that if I could it in me to forgive their mistakes.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • I love my parents but they have ruined my sanctuary with my spouse and kids. What can I do to protect my house, and teach my parents to respect my rules?
    via ThrowRA7844
  • They are genuinely people who are not coming from malicious intent, they are genuinely clueless and bad at taking care of their space.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • I don't want to ruin our loving relationship over this. Edit: My mom was 17 and my dad was 22 when they had me, and both were kicked out of the house for this inplanned preg ncy.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Both did not relieve any proper education on taking care of a home. Perhaps this can give some context, but I know this does not excuse their behavior.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Yes my parents have insurance which covers extended hotel stays. My spouse is currently looking into that option for them.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • We offered our place simply because we both are family- oriented folks, and his parents often stay with us whenever trouble arises, so we wanted to lend the same hand to my parents.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Finally, I'm having trouble just "kicking them out" because they are kind people, who happens to have a problem with hoarding and cleanliness.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • My parents both raised me with love, care, put food on my plate when they couldn't put any on theirs, put my education first, and supported me through my hardest time.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • Yes, they are filthy, but they are not bad people. I am starting to see the point that everyone is brining up about them still being too young to assert they can't change.
    via ThrowRA7844
  • This, I am realizing is more about complacency than the actual inability to not change. Again, that's why my spouse and I will look into moving them to a hotel, and possible figuring out a way to deal with their complacency problem.
    via ThrowRA7844

  • See, bugs are like exes, you think you're finally free, then one shows up uninvited and suddenly your whole week revolves around them again. Except instead of ghosting them, you're paying an exterminator a small fortune to convince them to leave. And can we talk about the parental logic of "I saw the problem, but I didn't say anything, I figured I'd handle it"? That's not a home repair strategy, that's a horror movie setup. "We heard something in the walls, but we didn't want to worry anyone" energy, except instead of a ghost, it's a leaking fridge slowly turning your ceiling into soup.
     

    Then there's the "we forgot the fish in the garage" defense, a phrase no one has ever said in the history of functioning households. At some point, forgetting stops being an accident and starts being a lifestyle choice, like religiously choosing chaos as your personality.

    Honestly, the wildest plot twist isn't the roaches or the fish, it's parents in their 50s pulling the "we're too old to change" card like they're pitching early retirement from basic responsibility. Nice try, but nobody's buying that as an excuse to skip dishes.

    Loving your parents and needing a hazmat suit to visit them can absolutely coexist. Just maybe keep the fridge on lockdown next time.

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family drama entitled parents mother tradition family feud parenting parents Father
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