48-year-old on $80k visits friend for the weekend, expects them to pay for entire visit: 'I make a lot less than she does'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 28, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

How much should you contribute when you're a guest in somebody else's house?

Being a considerate visitor should not be a difficult thing; basic manners are something that most of us are capable of. Still, perfecting the etiquette of being someone a friend wants to invite back can occasionally feel like a challenge. Some people claim to want to have people over, but then have impossible expectations of them. Similarly, some guests enter this arrangement assuming they are entitled to much more than they actually are.

As a result, hosting a friend in your home can prove to be one of the ultimate tests of a friendship. A bond that seems unbreakable when it is conducted outside of the house can quickly end with a messy argument if somebody believes that they are dealing with a bad guest or host. It often brings out a side of a person that you haven't seen before, or maybe you have, and you just don't want to admit it. Being up close and personal like this can be hard on even the most unbreakable of friends, so those who are only meant to be there for a season of your life don't stand a chance.

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  • A representation of a blond woman sitting at a table with food and wine, the night sky in the window behind her
    via Ultimate Safaris Namibia

    A representation of a blond woman sitting at a table with food and wine, the night sky in the window behind her

  • When a middle-aged woman on a decent salary came to stay at a friend's home, the host didn't expect her to behave in the way that she did. Throughout the entire weekend, she had neglected to pay for anything and insisted that they only do activities that were free. The host did not believe that she had the same financial freedom as her, either.

    The final straw was when they went together to pick up groceries, and the friend expected that the host would pay for an expensive chocolate bar. They were left wondering if they were being stingy for caring so much about how she had acted.

     

  • Friend came to visit for the weekend and expected me to pay for everything

    A friend (48f) came to visit for the weekend, arriving on a Friday night. I made a really nice dinner that night, along with breakfast, lunch, and another nice dinner on Saturday. And breakfast on Sunday morning before she left.
    via XGrundyBlab
  • When we were deciding what to do for the weekend, my friend said they wanted to do "free" things, so I drove us around to do free stuff. I know the friend makes about 80k because she told me once (and her husband makes a good income) so she is financially stable. I love alone and make a lot less than she does.
    via xGrundyBlab
  • At one point she said she wanted some chocolate. I also needed to pick up an ingredient for dinner. At the store, she selected a $7.59 bar of chocolate and handed it to me in the checkout line in order for me to pay for it (I didn't offer to pay, she just handed it to me).
    via xGrundyBlab
  • AIO for thinking they should have at least paid for their own expensive chocolate? And maybe offer to chip in for food?
    via xGrundyBlab
  • Grocery store shelves stocked with different brands of chocolate bars
    via Zoshua Colah

    Grocery store shelves stocked with different brands of chocolate bars

  • Dutch1721 Guess she figured you're doing everything else. Might as well pay for the chocolate bar. She took advantage of your kindness. Now you wondered why she wanted to do "free" stuff. She arrived without any money.
    via Dutch1721
  • alostwitch222 NOR, I'd be ped
    via alostwitch222
  • Ipso-Pacto-Facto "I can't afford for you to visit. All my other guests aren't quite SO financially draining! Take care!"
    via Ipso-Pacto-Facto
  • lovemickey22 If you invited them, then I'd expect you to put most of the outlay down for food, especially if you're cooking, but I wouldn't pay for the expensive chocolate bar. As someone who's been invited to stay somewhere for a few days, I always at least offer to pay for take out, dining out, ingredients etc.
    via lovemickey22
  • CommercialBreak2026 That is how wealthier people stay wealthy. They take advantage of people they figure won't object until later, if ever. Write off the $7.59 under "Lessons Learned" and don't allow that person to invite herself to your home again.
    via CommercialBreak2026
  • CycleAccomplished824 Some feel very relaxed about letting others pay for them aka taking advantage. She kinda just manipulated the chocolate in there like a kid following mom in the candy store and putting their selection on the counter hoping mom won't say no in front of everyone else. Lol
    via CycleAccomplished824
  • GrowlingAtTheWorld Place expensive chocolate bar down and grab friend a snickers bar.
    via GrowlingAtTheWorld
  • Asleep-Journalist-94 The unwritten rule is that the host doesn't pay and the guest either brings gifts, pays for meals and activities, or all of the above. After all, you offered free accommodations. Your friend is an inconsiderate cheapskate.
    via Asleep-Journalist-94
  • RHWONH Even if I'm invited to visit a friend I do not expect them to pay for my food and activities. Weird. NOR.
    via RHWoNH
  • Upstairs-Piccolo-651 Make sure you are busy the next time Her Highness wants to visit!
    via Upstairs-Piccolo-651

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