19-year-old insults friend during university city visit, gets insulted when she kicks her out 1 day early: 'She mocked me'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 11, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Friendship is not a free pass to treat another person badly.

Relationships of all kinds take a lot of effort, and it is inevitable that we are all going to make mistakes sometimes. Starting an argument in a moment of frustration or accidentally saying or doing something that manages to offend is just a part of existing alongside other people. The measure of who we are as a relative, partner, or friend is how we react to these kinds of situations.

Part of maturing is realizing which relationships are worth keeping around after conflict, and which are not going to add anything of value to our lives once people show us who they are through a disagreement. Even with experience, it is not always an easy judgment call to make. Some individuals feel entitled to display the most outrageous behavior because they think that their supposed closeness to you will allow them to get away with it, but that is not always the case.

The problem that comes from cutting off unpleasant people is that they usually do not make the process easy. The less experienced you are in dealing with this scenario, the more impactful it can be on you.

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  • 01
    A representation of a young woman smiling and dancing in a club
    via JESUS ECA

    A representation of a young woman smiling and dancing in a club

  • A 19-year-old was looking forward to her friend visiting her in her college town for the weekend, but things quickly started going wrong. She began to talk badly of the friends that she had made at college when they went out with them at night.

    On top of that, she started to show increasingly hostile and strange behavior to her the next morning, refusing to apologize for spilling coffee on her passport. The woman felt she had no choice but to ask her to leave early, after which her oppositional behavior continued. She wanted confirmation that she had done the right thing. She couldn't understand why she would ruin their friendship like this.

  • 02

    Am I wrong for kicking my friend out in a city she doesn’t live in?

    I (19F) invited my friend (19F) to visit me in the city where I go to university. We'd planned this for months: she'd stay with me for the weekend, we'd go out together, and then we'd take the train back to our hometown on Monday.
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  • 03
    The weekend started well, although I noticed she only wanted to do activities she'd planned herself. I still spent the day showing her around the city and some of my favourite places.
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    That evening we got ready to go clubbing with some of my close uni friends. Before we even got to pre- drinks, she started calling one of my friends a "b " because she was on the phone with me deciding whether she wanted to come out. I brushed it off, assuming she didn't really mean it. Pre-drinks and the club itself went well.
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  • 05
    Around 3am we were all ready to go home, but my friend and two others wanted to go to an after-hours club. I was exhausted, so I told her she was welcome to go and I'd stay awake to let her back into my flat.
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    She got back around 5am. I asked if she'd had fun, but instead of answering she started insulting several of my friends, calling one "weird" and two others "pick me girls." I told her I didn't want to hear her talk about my friends like that because it was r de, then I went to bed.
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    The next morning she told me she'd been invited for coffee by one of her university friends whose boyfriend lives in my city. I was too hungover to join her, so she started getting ready. She asked to use my coffee machine, which was on my desk, and I said yes. While doing her makeup she didn't notice the coffee overflowing. I pointed
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    it out and ran to get paper towels. Instead of stopping the machine, she grabbed the cup and opened my desk drawer underneath it, allowing coffee to pour directly into it. That drawer contained important documents, including my Romanian passport. I shouted that my passport was in
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    there. She pulled it out while coffee was still pouring and then tried to "dry" it using a wet makeup wipe. I was really upset but didn't argue. My parents happened to be visiting to collect some laundry. I quietly told my mum what had happened. For context, replacing my Romanian passport would have been expensive because it's my
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    second citizenship. Thankfully, my mum managed to dry it properly and it wasn't permanently damaged. What upset me most wasn't the accident itself but my friend's attitude afterwards. She didn't even greet my mum, despite knowing her for years. A few minutes later she asked me to unlock the front door so she could
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    leave for coffee. As soon as we stepped into the hallway she mocked me in a baby voice, saying, "Mummy, (friend's name) spilled coffee on my passport." That was my breaking point. I went back into my room, locked the door, and ignored her while she banged on it telling me I was overreacting. I texted her saying she needed to leave and that I'd have one of my flatmates give
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    her bag to her later because I didn't want to see her. She then demanded I pay for a coach ticket home. I refused because she already had a train ticket for Monday which I'd also paid for. I told her if she wanted to leave early, she'd have to cover that herself.
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    A few days later, after I was back home, she messaged saying I'd forgotten to pack her setting powder and that I needed to replace it. I apologised and offered to leave it with my mum at her hair salon near where she lives. She replied, "Why would I go out of my way to get something you forgot?"
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    I then offered to post it instead, which she agreed to. The very next day she changed her mind and said her sister's boyfriend would collect it from my mum. I explained my mum didn't have it with her that day but he could collect it the following day before the salon closed at 7pm. He arrived right at closing, after my mum had already left, so she'd left it with the business next door for him.
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    After she confirmed he'd collected it, I removed her from everything and we've never spoken since.
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  • 16
    A representation of four young women posing for a photo in a nightclub
    via JESUS ECA

    A representation of four young women posing for a photo in a nightclub

  • 17
    TheCalamityBrain NTA That's not a friend. That's a walking antisocial behavior problem
    via TheCalamityBrain
  • 18
    AngelKry94 Anyone who points finger at someone else calling them "weird" and "pick me girls" is just telling on themselves. She clearly hasn't left high school. I wish her luck in her life. But you are better off without her!
    via AngelKry94
  • 19
    AstronautNumerous 184 She's was never your friend, keep it moving glad you had the sense to drop her!
    via AstronautNumerous184
  • 20
    Ok_Comfortable589 good. she was a huge a_h_le. i dont know what her problem was but her trashing your friend, purposefully damaging your property and mocking you...she wasnt ever your friend. good you got rid of her. tell your friends. who are mutuals what she did so she doesnt do it to them.
    via Ok_Comfortable589
  • 21
    Willing_Coffee1542 The coffee spill could've been forgiven. Mocking you afterward instead of apologizing is what changed everything.
    via Willing_Coffee1542

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