Dad tells daughter that he can't be taking that many things to college, but she thinks she's taking just the necessities, but her dad still says she could take less: 'I can't take less stuff without losing things I need to genuinely survive in college.'

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María Cetra • Writer
Sep 1, 2026 1:45 PM EDT

It's just necessities, or at least for her they are…


Moving to a college campus can be hard for a variety of reasons. You can miss your family, not be super independent, and have to learn the hard way how to do things and survive on your own, and you may have to leave most of your things at home. It's bittersweet to be moving out of state or to a far-away town to study. On one side, you get to discover the world on your own, make new friends, and grow and evolve. On the other, as Taylor Swift would say: "You're on your own kid". You will be in charge of handling everything from now on. So get used to being stressed, always having a lot to do, and most importantly, missing your family all the time. You realize how much you needed them the moment you are gone. But it's important to leave the experience and become independent to, later on, become a functioning adult.

The first problem that you may face as a student moving out to the college campus may be that you have to accept the fact that you can't move all of your things to the new place. It may be a logistical issue, or maybe you have a dad that says it's not possible to move everything like u/naomi_espiii. No matter what the issue is, sometimes you just need to accept it and move on. Okay, you won't be able to move out with everything. That's it. Not that big of a deal. Or maybe you can, but you need to handle it on your own. Whatever the case is, this whole experience needs to work as a way for you to mature and become independent. After all, if you were handling the move on your own, you wouldn't have to answer to your father's demands.

You may face a variety of issues when moving. But you will just have to accept them and work around them. There isn't much to do. Accept them, embrace them, deal with them. You are an adult now, and it is your responsibility to handle the difficult situations. 

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  • Am I wrong for telling my dad I'm not going to take "less stuff" to college?

    I have five moving bags for college. That's it. Five moving bags and a couple of my favorite plants because they give me something to keep alive when I get depr_sed. I have already given up a lot of the things I want to take and managed to get down to just the necessities. I can't take less stuff without losing things I need to genuinely survive in college. My dad told me to just "pack less stuff" and force everything into a box on top of the car. But he wants room for this massive car mini frid
    via naomi_espiii
  • Moving boxes stacked out inside a room.
    via Dina Badamshina

    Moving boxes stacked out inside a room. 

  • edit: some commonly asked questions 1. The mini fridge is not for me. its for my dad to have sandwiches on the trip and is not being used for medications or necessities 2. My whole family is going, and i did not have a say in this. thats 4 people 3. all of my stuff fit in the back of the car. my families luggage can comfortably fit in the box on top of the car. The conflict is the fridge 4. ive agreed to sacrifice the plants. i wont be brining them but i still
    via naomi_espiii
  • cant fit everything plus the fridge 5. my dad refuses to get a van and would make me pay for it. I cant afford that right now 6. i cant bring my car as the college is in chicago and its easier to just take public transportation than drive 7. my college only allows ONE vehicle to be used for offloading
    via naomi_espiii
  • A woman moving boxes full of her things around. Representative only.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    A woman moving boxes full of her things around. 

    Representative only. 

  • lexicaltension NTA at all!! Five bags is completely reasonable (I would say light tbh), but your dad needing a fridge for the drive is completely unreasonable unless he has a medical need for it
    via lexicaltension
  • Mira_DFalco NTA That being said, unless you can make other arrangements for the ride, you're stuck. Are you able to ship some of your less fragile stuff?
    via Mira_DFalco
  • No Permission7565 Could you ship your items?
    via No Permission7565
  • Gabby_Craft I mean, how big is your dorm/ apartment? It's possible you literally won't have room for everything. Is he forcing you to bring the fridge to your dorm?
    via Gabby_Craft
  • naomi_espiii OP no the fridge is just for him for the drive. the dorm is pretty big. and most of the stuff is things like clothes bedding and storage
    via naomi_espiii
  • AvaSpelledBackwards2 NTA. I was an RA for 3 years and this is less than most people bring in my experience. I saw that other people suggested shipping things, so I'd definitely look into that if possible. If you know anyone else in your area going to the same school you might be able to see if they'd be willing to help you bring things as well.
    via AvaSpelledBackwards2
  • TherinneMoonglow NTA. Why isn't a Uhaul trailer an option? They're like $35 a day. Also, bringing a mini fridge on a car trip is unhinged. Put some frozen water bottles in a cooker with your sandwiches. For the live of all things excessive man toys.
    via TherinneMoonglow
  • roxinmyhead What kind of car? How big is the fridge?
    via roxinmyhead
  • naomi_espiii OP the fridge is bigger than my moving bags. takes up a quarter of the trunk. and its a range rover
    via naomi_espiii
  • BlueJaysFeather Please do not sacrifice all of the plants. I've done this and the routine of keeping them healthy is exactly as helpful as you think. Longer term- college is more than this one trip up. Are you planning to return home for any breaks, and if so, is there stuff you can leave behind that you won't need until after (such as really warm clothes that won't be needed until after fall recess)? If you're not already, start planning out the cost for a small storage unit or look into storag
    via BlueJaysFeather
  • same dance again next August. NTA, but it sounds like you don't have many options when it comes to this current trip up to college, so put your focus into preventing what problems you can. I'm sorry.
    via BlueJaysFeather
  • redpoppy42 Are any of the items in vacuum bags? That might help you condense and lose one bag but not sure if that is enough to help. Is everything that can be taken out of packaging taken out? We got rid of all the boxes where we could. He's being completely unrealistic for sandwiches. Bring a small cooler! Having the whole family is crowded too. My son easily will have 4 of those bags plus additional items. TBD since he hasn't really packed yet and leaves Friday. He's doing a temp move in for
    via redpoppy42
  • and one full suitcase since he has to walk it across campus to his permanent dorm after a few days. We are driving back the. With his dorm stuff and him not being in the car is helpful. Was he planning to take you shopping when you get there? I'm trying to avoid that so we are pretty thoroughly packed.
    via redpoppy42

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