New hire replies to future colleague's email about offer letter, gets chastised by boss for sharing salary details: 'You shouldn’t handle work this way'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Sep 1, 2026 11:15 AM EDT

Is it worth criticizing a new employee for an honest mistake?

Most of us have done dumb things when we are fresh on the job, and let's be honest, we are usually capable of doing that when we are more experienced, too. Everybody messes up sometimes, especially when they are not used to a new environment. It takes time to adapt, and some lessons can only be learned the hard way.

One of the qualities of good management is that a boss can give some grace to their employees when they make the occasional mistake. If it turns into a pattern of incompetence, that is a different matter, but so long as they learn from what they do wrong and show a willingness to improve, they are likely to appreciate being cut some slack. 

As many have experienced, a lot of managers don't think this way. Instead, they look for reasons to penalize and make their workers feel ashamed of themselves. It isn't exactly conducive to productivity or a low turnover.

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  • An older boss rubs his temple in frustration as he looks at his phone.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    An older boss rubs his temple in frustration as he looks at his phone. Scene shown is a visual representation.

  • In a post on r/careerguidance, a software engineer stressed that a job offer they had just accepted may be something they came to regret. They replied to an email from a future coworker about confirming their acceptance of their offer letter, and their new boss told them that they had made a mistake that may affect their future probation period. They felt that this wasn't entirely fair, as they hadn't known any better.

  • CTO called my email mistake a “big mistake” and mentioned my probation. Should I reconsider the offer?

    I recently finished several interview processes and am now at the final stage of salary negotiation with one company. I also have a few other opportunities/offers still pending, but I was leaning toward this company because I liked the domain enough to accept a somewhat lower salary. (lower than my initial ask) (For context, I'm a software engineer with about three
    via BluebirdStandard9594
  • years of experience and currently between jobs.) As part of the final compensation process, the CTO sent me an offer letter with salary details. Later, another employee emailed and texted me saying:
    via BluebirdStandard9594

  • They felt that they had no reason to question the email.

    <<"I'm contacting you regarding the offer letter we previously sent. Please review it and reply with your decision to join.">> Because this person was actively following up about the offer and asking for my acceptance, I assumed they were handling HR/recruiting and replied to both them and the CTO with my signed offer letter.
    via BluebirdStandard9594
  • The CTO then called me and said I had made a "big mistake" by sharing salary information with that employee, saying things like, "You shouldn't handle work this way." He also mentioned the existing 3- month probation period and said that this kind of mistake could negatively affect me during it.
    via BluebirdStandard9594

  • This wasn't the way things were supposed to go.

    Apparently, that employee was not HR and wasn't supposed to see salary information. Their email signature did say "Marketing specialist" but nobody told me they were only helping with communication or that salary-related replies should go exclusively to the CTO.
    via BluebirdStandard9594
  • What makes me hesitate now is that I actually liked this company's domain enough to accept a lower salary, despite having other opportunities still pending.
    via BluebirdStandard9594

  • They didn't think the job offer looked so good anymore.

    After this phone call, though, I'm starting to worry that the CTO may be somewhat emotional or quick to judge, and that similar communication issues could happen again after I join. I'm now seriously considering withdrawing my acceptance and pursuing one of the other opportunities instead.
    via BluebirdStandard9594
  • Do you think I'm overreacting because this was mainly my mistake? Or does the CTO's response seem like a reasonable red flag to reconsider the offer? (For context, I'm not based in the US. Where I live, companies may have policies restricting employees from discussing compensation with one another.)
    via BluebirdStandard9594
  • Back view of a person typing on a MacBook.
    via ThisisEngineering

    Back view of a person typing on a MacBook. Image shown for illustrative purposes; person depicted is a model.

  • People didn't think this was a good sign of things to come.

    DavesEmployee Massive red flag, unless you need a job right now I think I'd pass
    via DavesEmployee
  • TrueTurtleKing You were about to take a salary cut because you like this company enough, but do you still like them after this interaction?
    via TrueTurtleKing
  • Also, not only did CTO was quick to judge you, they even took action based on your judgement. Idk about your other offer and how much more salary, but I'd reconsider.
    via TrueTurtleKing

  • The company may not be well run.

    Emotional-Damage-995 This sounds like a clown show. If you join 100% spend time looking for other work. Onboarding has to be professional and they are not sounding like it. The CTO is dumb and judgmental
    via Emotional-Damage-995
  • caelumpanache It's their mess up, not yours. If someone isn't supposed to know details of the offer letter then they shouldn't be directed to tell you to respond to it. Hard pass, that other associate is probably in trouble too.
    via caelumpanache
  • Robokat Brutus If he wasn't involved in the process, why did he have your contact details? Sounds like a big red flag all around.
    via Robokat_Brutus

  • It didn't make sense that someone outside of HR got involved.

    Czar 1987 silly CTO aside, this is a major red flag that non-HR personnel are involved in HR matters. why is this other person even remotely involved? it's very weird.
    via Czar1987
  • Geaneous The CTO will absolutely 100% do this over and over especially he has you under his thumb.
    via Geaneous
  • FCBwoof Threatening you with your probation, before you are even an employee. Run a J mile.
    via FCBwoof

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terrible coworkers new hire emails bad bosses
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