Mother-in-law organizes baby shower for SIL and invites all her friends: ‘So we’re basically serving as an excuse for her to arrange a party, invite whoever she wants, and having us pay to feed these people’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Sep 27, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

The typical case of a gift that's not really for you

Some people can't see beyond their own noses; even when they're giving you a gift, they're thinking about themselves. They're also impossible to talk to, and no matter how much you point out what's happening, they will not see it, so you might have to call it quits.

Obviously, the mother-in-law from this story isn't helping anyone by throwing this baby shower. If she were paying for it herself, it might be justified to bring her friends along, but she is not even doing that. She expects the couple expecting the baby to pay for everything her guests eat, and I wonder: where does celebrating the new-coming baby come in?

At any rate, the mother-in-law is only relieving her sons-in-law from the baby showers' organisation, and nothing else. But even though that is a little bit helpful, what's the point of celebrating your baby's arrival with strangers?

I think these types of personalities, like the mother-in-law's, should be kept at a safe distance and straight up lied to. I know it might sound problematic, but I think the only way to deal with people like that is to play along, pretend you're super thankful they want to throw your baby shower, and kindly reject the offer, giving a fake excuse.

I see no point in trying to talk some sense into people like this. It's just not going to happen. Might as well keep the peace, lie your way out, save money by not throwing the baby shower, and rest for the next couple of weeks.

Do you think I'm overreacting? Is this a boundary issue or an honest mistake her mother-in-law made? Does she want to collaborate, or is she being plainly selfish?

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  • Celebrating with the MIL's friends

    Cheezburger Image 10666131200
    via vitaly gariev

    Ideal baby shower

    Stock photo unrelated



     

  • AIO? MIL refuses helping with baby shower SHE proposed if her friends don’t get invited, I want to cancel all of it.

    (Sorry if anything I wrote comes off as confusing, English is not my first language.) Long story short, I'm 20 weeks pregnant (my first child, my husband's
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • second), and this weekend. we went to visit my MIL. She was asking me when the baby shower would be. I told her I wasn't planning on having one, I have no time or energy for that (for
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • a lot of reasons that aren't relevant here) and since I got married, I had to move to my husbands city so in the end of the day I'm not as close to my friends and relatives anymore. It's pretty lonely actually, lol.
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • So, MIL thought that was insane and offered to gather my SIL and one of my husbands cousins and take care of that herself. She'd make the baby shower happen.
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • She created a group chat with all of us and started to lead the details, location, plans, with me and husband being tasked of paying for food and whatever else that needed spending money on, of
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • course. I wouldn't even consider asking for her to pay for anything. Problem is, she made a list of the people that should be invited and it contained a lot of friends of HERS
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • Cheezburger Image 10666131456
    via Natalie Chaney

    Snacks for the MIL's friends

    Still frame for contextual reference only



     

  • that even my husband, the father of the child, doesn't know. So we're basically serving as an excuse for her to arrange a party, invite whoever she wants, and having us pay to feed
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • these people. And she said that the list is non negotiable and refuses to help anymore if we leave any of those names off. She thinks it's unfair she's "helping so much but can't have her friends there".
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • I'm pretty hurt she's using that kind of argument when I thought she was offering to help with making the baby shower happen because she wanted to do something
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • special for her unborn grandson, not for herself and her friends. Specially when my own people can't be there. I just feel like canceling the whole thing. In the end of
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • the day, we're spending more money to feed strangers that don't know me or my husband, for a baby shower that was not my initiative, than we would if we bought the baby stuff ourselves.
    via Vivid_Bluejayz
  • Flat-Replacement4828 NOR. No way in Hell should you be paying for any of this.
    via Flat-Replacement4828
  • Tmar0916 So she wants to give you a baby shower invite all of her friends, but have you pay for it? That makes no sense and who in their right mind would agree to that?
    via Tmar0916
  • Real-Elysium Never heard of the expecting to pay for their own shower! it's supposed to be a gift (the party) and then you get a lot of things. to help with the baby. cancel it if you don't want a baby shower. NOR.
    via Real-Elysium
  • Cheezburger Image 10666131712
    via Sarah Medina

    Who's benefiting from this party?

    Models pictured are not representative



     

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family drama family feud family baby shower
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