Coworker bails on her friend, lies to cancel their plans together and gets annoyed when the friend refuses to cover her shift so she can go out: 'I also don't feel obligated to rearrange my schedule'

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Sep 26, 2026 5:15 PM EDT

Friendships are about sharing. You give, and you receive, but it's not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do for them. 

One-sided relationships are not good for anybody, especially for the person whose interest is not reciprocated. That can be applied to romantic relationships, friendships, and whatever type of bond you want. 

When we form a bond with a person, we sign an unspoken contract to be nice, respectful, and honest to one another. When one party doesn't commit to it, that's when the relationship starts failing, and trust disappears. It sounds dramatic to put it like that, especially when the relationship is not as close, but that is the point. When we start treating every connection as expendable, that's when we start losing them and seeing that it's very easy to be left alone. People need to feel appreciated to stay around and put effort into maintaining the relationship. When that doesn't happen, they leave, and they are entitled to it. I have cut off friendships myself when I realized that the other person didn't value my friendship as I did theirs. It is not wrong to set boundaries and dismiss people who are not good friends. When someone lies to you, treats you as a second choice, and then expects you to rearrange your life for them, all you have to do is politely refuse and consider the relationship terminated. That doesn't mean that from now on you're going to be mean or impolite to them; it just means that you will no longer count them among your close relations, and you'll treat them as you treat every other acquaintance you have. 

What would you do if you had a friend who didn't prioritize your relationship? Would you set a boundary, or would you let it go?  

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  • AITA for refusing to cover my friend’s shift after she cancelled plans with me?

    My friend and I had plans to go to a concert together that we'd been talking about for weeks. The day before, she told me she couldn't go
    via Expensive_Alps2808
  • Cheezburger Image 10666687744
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The concert. 

    Licensed media provided as editorial context.

  • because she had agreed to cover a coworker's shift I was disappointed but told her I understood The next day, I found out she had actually
    via Expensive_Alps2808
  • gone out with some other friends that evening instead. When I asked her about it, she said she didn't think it was a big deal because the
    via Expensive_Alps2808
  • concert wasn't that important A week later, she asked me to cover one of her shifts because she had another social event she wanted to
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  • attend. I told her no and said I wasn't comfortable doing favors for her when she had recently cancelled our plans for something
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  • else She got annoyed and said I was being petty and holding a grudge over one cancelled night I
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  • don't think she owes me her free time, but I also don't feel obligated to rearrange my schedule for her after what happened. AITA?
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  • Cheezburger Image 10666688000
    via SoyBreno for Unsplash+

    The friends.

    Not actual story subjects.

  • ovulationchamber She might have a point if she didn't specifically LIE TO YOU about it. But she did.
    via ovulationchamber
  • rukittenmeeee I wouldn't do it AND I'd let her know that I wasnt doing it out of spite.
    via rukittenmeeee
  • shvlhd666 She lied to you, so no.
    via shvlhd666
  • Professional Yam3119 1. She did it. 2. She lied to you about it. What more is there to say? INFO.
    via ProfessionalYam3119
  • Mysecretthoughts 1000 You are not important to her. Just treat her as a coworker.
    via Mysecretthoughts1000
  • Character-Tennis-241 ΝΤΑ Believe people the first time they show you who they are. She showed you she isn't a real friend.
    via Character-Tennis-241
  • PartyPlay5056 The problem as I see it is not that she canceled, it's that she lied about wny she canceled. NTA
    via PartyPlay5056
  • Striking-Estate-4800 NTA. She cancelled plans with you and lied about it because something better came up. I'd be d ed if I did her a favor or even spoke to her again.
    via Striking-Estate-4800
  • bubbleman96815 It's her shift, not yours. You don't owe her any explanations on why you can't cover a shift. "Sorry, I am not available to cover that shift for you"
    via bubbleman96815
  • Material Cellist4133 ΝΤΑ But I also don't think you two are friends You may consider her a friend but she doesn't consider you a friend. Probably just a coworker.
    via Material_Cellist4133
  • OPPAI So what we are ALL gonna do moving forward with these situations: "Stop trying to guilt me into taking responsibility for YOUR behavior. I will not be taken advantage of. Go f yourself."
    via LolitaOPPAI

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