Bride wants to uninvite her sister's boyfriend after he asked her parents for an $8000 loan from the money they had set aside for her wedding, then he asked for $5000 from her fiancé: '[The sister] said if Chris wasn't invited, she wasn't coming either'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Oct 1, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

You don't have to be in a relationship. If your boyfriend is awful, leave him!

I believe that some people just love the idea of being in a relationship, but not really the person they are in a relationship with. It is like they like the idea of being with someone more than they actually like that 'someone'. It's funny because it's kind of incoherent, but I promise you it's true. Think about that one friend that you have whose boyfriend has cheated on her so many times that you can't comprehend why she would still be with him, or that friend that is always getting screamed at and mistreated by their girlfriend. Every time you tell them that this doesn't seem healthy, that it would probably be best for them to break up, they just say that they love them and would never leave their side. Well, I disagree. They do not love their partner. They are just so used to it that it is easier to just stay together for the sake of the relationship. It doesn't matter that they are having an awful time together, that they even hate each other; they think that living like that is better than actually leaving their life as a single person. Because they do not know or don't remember how to even be single. 

Like in the story below, we get another example of a girl who cannot seem to understand that her boyfriend is not good for her. He is using her family as ATMs just to get some cash to start another failed business that has "scam" written all over it. So why stay? Is it love? No! It's never love. It's the commodity of not facing what the world would be like "on your own", and I put it in air quotes because they wouldn't actually be alone, but they would be just single. I do not understand what the problem with people is about being single. It's fine. You will find your person one day, but do not get stuck in a relationship that is not only damaging you but also your family just because it's less scary than being single. 

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  • 128F am getting married in three weeks. My fiancé, 30M, and I have been together for five years and engaged for a little over a year. I have a younger sister, Megan, who is 25. She's been dating her boyfriend, Chris, who is 27, for about eight months. I've never really liked Chris. That sounds harsh, but I never had a specific reason to dislike him. He was never openly r de to me or my family. He was actually very
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  • A wedding invitation with the letter, the card, and other items.
    via Stacey Vandas

    A wedding invitation with the letter, the card, and other items. 

  • charming when we were around other people. He could walk into a room and have everyone laughing within five minutes. But there was something about him that always bothered me. He had a way of making every conversation about himself. If someone mentioned a new car, he had to talk about the car he wanted. If my dad talked about work, Chris somehow turned the conversation into a story about his own career. If my mom
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  • cooked dinner, Chris would spend twenty minutes talking about restaurants he had been to. My fiancé noticed it too. We never said anything to Megan because she clearly liked him, and honestly, I figured it wasn't our place. Then things started getting weird about two months ago. My fiancé and I were at my parents' house for dinner. We
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • were talking about the wedding because it was getting close, and my mom was asking about the final details. Chris was sitting across from me and suddenly laughed. "You guys are probably spending a ridiculous amount on this thing." I laughed because I assumed he was joking. Then he asked, "How much is the whole wedding costing?"
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  • I gave him a vague answer. "Enough." He laughed. "No, seriously. Like thirty grand?" I shrugged. He kept going. How much was the venue? How much was the catering? Were we serving alcol? How much did my dress cost? How much was the photographer? How much were my parents contributing? My fiancé eventually interrupted
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  • and said, "We're trying not to think about the money anymore.” Chris laughed. "That's probably for the best." Everyone moved on, and I didn't think much about it afterward. Then about a month later, my mom called me. She sounded confused. She asked me if I had told Chris how much my parents were contributing to the wedding. I told her no. She said
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • Chris had mentioned the exact amount to her earlier that week. I asked Megan about it. She immediately became defensive. "He probably overheard Dad talking about it." I told her I wasn't accusing anyone of anything. I was just confused about how he knew. She said I was making it into a bigger deal than it was, so I dropped it. Then last week, my mom called me again. This time she was
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • upset. She told me Chris had asked my parents for $8,000. Apparently, he had gotten himself into some financial trouble and needed the money temporarily. He told them he would pay them back. My parents said no. According to my mom, Chris apparently asked them if they could just take the money out of what they had set aside for my wedding. When she told me that, I honestly
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  • thought she was joking. She wasn't. My parents aren't wealthy. They're helping with the wedding because they've been saving for it and because my mom really wanted to be able to contribute. The idea that Chris had looked at the money they had saved for my wedding and thought, “I could use that," made me furious. I called Megan. I told her I didn't want Chris at the wedding
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  • anymore. She immediately got angry. She said I had never liked him and was just looking for an excuse to exclude him. I told her this wasn't about whether I liked him. This was about him asking Mom and Dad for eight thousand dollars and then suggesting they take it out of our wedding budget. She told me I was exaggerating. Then she admitted something I didn't know. Chris had been
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • unemployed for almost six months. Apparently, he had told everyone he was doing freelance work. He wasn't. Megan had been paying most of his expenses. His rent, his car payment, his phone, groceries, basically everything. She said she was embarrassed and didn't want our parents to know. I actually felt bad for her at that point. I told her I wasn't angry at her for helping him, but I still
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • didn't want him at my wedding. I told her she was absolutely welcome to come, but Chris wasn't. She said if Chris wasn't invited, she wasn't coming either. I told her that was her decision. She hung up. About an hour later, my mom called me. She said Megan was crying and that I should
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  • reconsider. She said, "He's her boyfriend. You don't have to like him, but do you really want to cause this much drama three weeks before the wedding?" I told her I didn't want drama. I wanted to know that the people at my wedding respected me and my family. My mom said she understood. Then she said something that made me feel guilty. "He's
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • probably just desperate." I told her I understood being desperate. I didn't understand feeling entitled to someone else's money. That should have been the end of it. It wasn't. Yesterday, my fiancé and I went to my parents' house to drop off some wedding decorations. Chris
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  • was there. I didn't know he was going to be there. He was sitting at the kitchen table talking to my dad. When we walked in, the conversation immediately stopped. My fiancé noticed. A few minutes later, Chris asked my fiancé if he could speak with him privately. My fiancé looked at me. I shrugged. They went outside.
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  • About ten minutes later, my fiancé came back inside. He looked extremely uncomfortable. I asked him what happened. At first he wouldn't tell me. Then he said, "He asked me for money." I honestly thought he was joking. He wasn't. Chris had asked him for $5,000. Apparently, he had some "business opportunity" and
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • needed money to get it started. My fiancé said no. Chris apparently told him that if he didn't help, Megan might have to move back in with my parents because she was struggling financially. My fiancé told him that wasn't his responsibility. Chris apparently got offended and said he thought we were family.
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • That was when my fiancé ended the conversation. I was furious. But then we started thinking about it. If Chris had asked my parents for $8,000 and my fiancé for $5,000, who else had he asked? So I called my uncle. I asked him if Chris had ever asked him for money.
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • Then my uncle said, "Actually, yes." Apparently, Chris had approached him at a family barbecue a couple of months ago. He initially asked if my uncle knew anyone hiring. My uncle offered to help him find a job. Chris apparently said he wasn't looking for a regular job. He needed a loan. My uncle said no. At that point, everything clicked.
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • Chris wasn't just struggling financially. He had been going around my family asking different people for money. And because he knew about our wedding budget, he apparently knew my parents had money set aside. I called Megan again. I told her what had happened. She started crying. Then she got angry. She said I was humiliating her.
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • I told her I wasn't trying to humiliate her. She said everyone was going to think she was dating some kind of loser. I told her that wasn't what I was saying. She said, "Then why are you treating him like he's a criminal?" I told her I wasn't calling him a criminal. I just didn't trust him.
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • She said I was making her choose between her boyfriend and her sister. I told her I wasn't asking her to choose. I was deciding who I wanted at my wedding. She said that wasn't fair. I said neither was asking my parents for $8,000 and then asking my fiancé for another $5,000,
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • Since then, she hasn't spoken to me. My mom thinks I'm being too stubborn. My dad actually agrees with me. My fiancé absolutely does not want Chris at the wedding. The invitations have already gone out, and Chris was originally included as Megan's plus-one. Now I'm trying to figure out how to handle it with the venue. I don't want someone checking the
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • guest list at the door and causing a scene. I also don't want to turn my wedding into some giant family argument. Part of me feels guilty because Megan is my little sister. We've always been close. I don't want one boyfriend to permanently damage our relationship. But another part of me is honestly exhausted. Everyone keeps focusing on
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • whether I'm being "nice" to Chris. Nobody is asking why he has asked multiple members of my family for thousands of dollars. My fiancé thinks I should stop feeling guilty and just tell the venue he's no longer an invited guest. My dad says the same thing. My mom thinks I should let him come and deal with it after the wedding. And Megan hasn't spoken to me since our last phone call.
    via Fair-Zebra6646
  • So now I'm wondering if I've taken this too far. I don't care if Chris is unemployed. I don't care if he's struggling. I don't even care if he has made some terrible financial decisions. But I do care that he apparently sees my family's money as something he's entitled to. And I don't think I should have to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding guest I don't trust
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  • The bride and the groom holding the wedding invitation. Models for explanatory purposes only.
    via Lisandro Garcia

    The bride and the groom holding the wedding invitation. 

    Models for explanatory purposes only. 

  • Maverick j2k NTA. It is YOUR WEDDING. Tell your mother if she's fine with a grifter like Chris being around her then she can do that at HER HOUSE and HER EVENT. This is YOUR DAY. Tell your sister the same.
    via Maverick j2k
  • Special_Lychee_6847 This guy that's only been with your sister for 8 months (!) has already used family events as a way to go around, asking your extended family for money. It is perfectly acceptable not to want that at your wedding. Your sister is probably in some stage of being with a hobosexual, and starting to realize it. That brings shame, and embarrassment. I hope your parents make sure she
    via Special_Lychee_6847
  • knows she's always welcome with them (I assume she is). And that she doesn't have to stay with him, just to 'save face'. Definitely NTA
    via Special_Lychee_6847

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drama loans money problems uninvited family feud
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