34-year-old man throws away all his girlfriend's groceries to weaponize his incompetence: ‘He'd thrown out things that were perfectly fine, including a small tin of milk my parents had brought over from abroad’

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Oct 1, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

King of weaponized incompetence

Ending a relationship on the spot can be hard, but sometimes you have to do it. There is no other option; your partner has shown absolute incompetence in being a fully functioning adult, and also a great deal of passive-aggressiveness towards you. There's no working it out.

This woman could try living with him. She'd have to do most of the household chores and try to get him to do something equivalent. Many couples function like this. If you can find balance in this arrangement, I guess there is no problem.

If you are miserable living like that, being in a relationship is not mandatory. I know it's a process, but small incidents help us take giant steps sometimes.

Somebody like this will likely keep doing everything wrong until you give up and stop asking him to deal with anything related to food or anything he doesn't want to do.

It's called weaponized incompetence, and it's a manipulation tactic; that's it. Sometimes we complicate things too much. In some scenarios, it makes no sense to try to reason with someone or negotiate away mistreatment; you just have to leave asap and start enjoying your singleness.

Imagine living in an apartment where nobody throws away your food or belittles you! It would be beautiful. I'm usually way more flexible and diplomatic than this, but I have my limits.

We should have a category for this kind of nightmarish story called : DUMP HIM ALREADY! I could use it to share my worst relationship anecdotes, and we would realize how far we've come. I never once regretted leaving people who treated me poorly. It can't go wrong. There is no excuse!

At any rate, you should read the story below, judge for yourselves, and tell me whether the woman in the story or I am overreacting.

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  • Condimentos
    via Gabriel Santos

    Apparently he doesn't know how to clean 

    Stock photography for depiction only



     

  • AIO My boyfriend threw out all my food and refused to apologise

    I (29F) do almost all the grocery shopping in our relationship because my boyfriend (34) won't contribute. Recently, some meat I'd bought went off. I'd also bought him his own separate meat
    via AmeenAa19962
  • because he's a picky eater. The fridge started to smell, and he said he'd clean it out. I'd already cleaned the bathroom, the wardrobe room and the kitchen that week, so I was glad to let him handle it.
    via AmeenAa19962
  • The next morning I went to make breakfast and realised almost all my food was gone. He'd thrown out things that were perfectly fine, including a small tin of milk my parents had brought over from abroad
    via AmeenAa19962
  • (which I love and can't easily get here), fresh cheese, oat milk, and all my gluten-free bread. I have coeliac disease, so that bread is expensive and I can't just swap it for regular bread. What he didn't throw away was his
    via AmeenAa19962
  • own food: his apples and a ready meal and bagels etc.. I didn't react straight away. I tried to let it go, but then I calmly asked him why he'd done it. He rolled his eyes, rolled a ciga tte, and
    via AmeenAa19962
  • waved me away with a smile, like he genuinely meant it. I asked him to apologise and he said no. After that he ignored me when I spoke, pulled faces, and kept saying "all that food was off." It wasn't. I'd spent about £60 on it the
    via AmeenAa19962
  • 30
    via Chander Mohan

    He should live alone and take care of only his own things

    Not actual story subjects



     

  • week before. And if everything was off, why was his food fine? (I am also au tic and hate people touching my things) This is where I'm not proud of myself: I got so angry at
    via AmeenAa19962
  • his refusal to apologise that I went into the kitchen and threw his food on the floor. In the moment it felt fair, since he'd done the same to me. Now he's ignoring me and acting like I'm the one overreacting.
    via AmeenAa19962
  • I've since spent another £60 replacing everything, because he won't pay for groceries. I'm really hurt by all of this. Am I overreacting?
    via AmeenAa19962
  • GreenUnderstanding39 Top 1% Commenter Please stop buying food and cooking for a grown adult man. Split bills with him like a roommate and only clean up after yourself.
    via GreenUnderstanding39
  • Easy_Cry1296 NOR. Not even remotely. This guy is a total who has zero respect for you whatsoever. Stop taking on the role of his mother and get out of there, being single is better than this.
    via Easy_Cry1296
  • LARG EB EGGLAND'S BEST NO PRESERVATIVES GARLIC SPICE Fresh Keeper Cage
    via Darrien Staton

    Her fridge when she lives alone

    Stock photo unrelated

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relationship advice relationships toxic relationship relationship drama
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