Woman doesn’t know how to keep her invasive roommate away while she’s cooking: ‘He also keeps trying to make convo, lingers, and literally watches me prepare dinner when I just wanna focus, chill, and not make conversation’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Oct 7, 2026 1:45 PM EDT

I have a theory about kitchens and roommates

Look, I've lived in many houses with many roommates, and kitchens have always been the center of conflict for some reason. People have very specific rituals around food, and those are the first to appear when you move in with someone. Apparently that's what happened to the woman from the story below.

At one point, I stopped cooking entirely because I hated being followed around or interrupted while I was making food. I hated feeling like people were supervising me or judging me. Looking back, I could've confronted my roomie about this, but I just wasn't prepared. You can't just shut the door in most kitchens as you would in your bedroom, so anyone can walk in at any time.

We all have our style and preferences in cooking and food, and people tend to get nosy about them; I don't know why. For that reason, I survived on sandwiches for many years. I think I should talk about this in therapy, but I live alone now, so it doesn't make any sense.

The conflict this specific woman is talking about could be solved very easily; she would simply have to talk about it lightly and say something along the lines of: 'I prefer to be alone when I cook; I'm sorry,' and that would be it. Does she really need a bunch of strangers to tell her that? Is it really that complicated? We can't just expect everyone to guess what we want.

What's happening in the story below might be that the roommate loves cooking and wants to be involved whenever that's happening, and he thinks he is bonding by being in the kitchen with her. Basically, it is a very small misunderstanding that could be fixed with an honest conversation. But I guess genuine conversations are getting harder and harder these days, and we revert to discussing things on Reddit.

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  • Cheezburger Image 10669281792
    via Jason Briscoe

    Can you leave, please?

    Photo is a representation of scenes

  • Flatmate is always in kitchen or lingering when I'm using it

    I live in a house with my partner and another two flatmates. My partner owns the house. One of them is constantly cooking and in the kitchen. I kid you not, probably 5
    via Berriesinthesnow_
  • hours a day. For dinner, I always have to wait a few hours as he takes forever and when I'm cooking or coming into the kitchen he immediately returns to the kitchen and gets in my
    via Berriesinthesnow_
  • way - starts tidying, making dessert, gets cutlery out, dries dishwasher dishes, uses the sink when I'm at the stove (it's a small kitchen so there's not much space) and the sink is right
    via Berriesinthesnow_
  • next to the stove on a perpendicular angle, so he has now come right up behind me a multiple of times and I don't like it. He also keeps trying to make convo, lingers and literally watches me
    via Berriesinthesnow_
  • prepare dinner when I just wanna focus, chill and not make conversation. Especially after work. Often, I'd had to make convo while I'm chopping or doing prep or cos he just stands there. Keep in
    via Berriesinthesnow_
  • mind we give him kitchen space for hours! I just want some peace and quiet. He is always baking (often twice a week) and pretty much uses the oven everyday! What should we say cos I'm getting really
    via Berriesinthesnow_
  • Cheezburger Image 10669282304
    via Jason Briscoe

    'Every move you make, I'll be watching you'

    Image depicted solely for explanatory purposes

  • annoyed now. Today he's gone into the kitchen within 20 seconds of me going in there three times! I can't cook if someone is washing their dishes or busying themselves, or opening drawers when I'm trying to move around the
    via Berriesinthesnow_
  • kitchen. Never had this issue with anyone else lol. Last Friday, I waited till nearly 8 for him to be done and asked at 7.30 how long he will be. Then when I was in the kitchen he kept
    via Berriesinthesnow_
  • coming in and doing the same sh again lol. What should we say? It's me off.
    via Berriesinthesnow_
  • Cheezburger Image 10669282048
    via Jason Briscoe

    The pleasure to cook alone

    Model portrayal

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friendship roommate drama bad roommates friends psycho roommate roommates toxic relationship
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