Old employer demands employee pay $60k college debt for leaving job 8 months early, employee resents husband for not paying: 'She really hates her current job'

Ally Perry • Writer and Editor

Oct 13, 2026 5:15 PM EDT

Should he have given her the money?

Traditional wedding vows may state that somebody is going to stay with their spouse for richer or poorer, but they do not go into detail about how a person may deal with their partner experiencing a change in financial fortunes. Money is one of the most important things for a couple to be on the same page about, and when finances get tough, there is every chance that the relationship will as well. Even well-adjusted couples have money arguments from time to time.

How expenses are split between two people is an issue that often plagues modern relationships. A lot of people would argue that if both are working and earning similar amounts, it makes sense to try to pay for things equally, but life isn't always that simple. There are situations where one person feels the need to step in for the sake of the other, and conversely, there are also scenarios where they may do all they can to get out of paying a particular sum. Marrying somebody who is financially irresponsible can make you lose sympathy for any money woes they may have.

Ultimately, the best kinds of relationships are often those where both partners are consistently generous to one another, whether that is monetarily or otherwise. Although somebody may have legitimate reasons for not wanting to pay for something, there are instances where that can leave their spouse feeling uncared for, and wondering about the validity of the partnership that they have opted into.

*_{A man looks stressed with his hand to his mouth as he looks at some papers at the kitchen table, his wife looking over his shoulder. Model portrayal.}*

One time when somebody may consider paying for a partner is when their happiness is at stake, but this is more viable in some situations than in others. An employee who hated her job jumped at the chance to interview elsewhere, and she got an offer. The only issue was that her current employer expected her to pay off $60k in master's degree debt if she left her position before her 2-year contract was up.

She didn't have this money, and her husband did. However, he declined to pay as he felt that it was simply too high a price. It left him wondering if he had done the wrong thing as a result.

Am I wrong for not paying off my wife's debt so she could switch jobs?

I (32M) and my wife (33M) have been married for 9 months. When we met she was in a masters program that her employer paid for on the condition that she work for them for two more years after graduating, and she currently has 8 months left to complete the two years and be debt free. A friend

recently recommended her for another job - we talked about it and decided she would interview. She ended up getting an offer.

We then inquired with her current employer and it turned out that she would need to pay $60k to leave her job 8 months before her contract ended. The offer she got from the new place was for $60k annually before taxes, so to switch jobs she would have had to pay her annual salary of her new job up front in a lump sum to her old employer.

The issue became more complicated when the wife considered how to pay for it.

My wife doesn't have enough funds to pay for it but I do, and I got the feeling she kind of expected me to pay for it. She really hates her current job and we both agreed the new one would be better both for her mental health and her career. I also view this as a substantial amount of money that I would like to save for our future together.

In the end we didn't pay it and she continued working the job she hates. AITA?

In any stable marriage, it is pretty natural for somebody to look to their partner to help them out financially when they need it. Still, that doesn't mean that the answer is always going to be yes. Ultimately, the financial stability of each individual is also that of the relationship overall. That has to be taken into consideration when making these types of decisions.

*_{A man looks to the side while sitting at a kitchen table, his wife holding his arm. Picture does not depict real parties.}*

She needed to deal with it for a few more months.

Trick-Historian 1080 $60k to leave 8 months early is insanity, she can tough it out a little longer

snugglestrugglehoin NTA, she should have approached the new company about a signing bonus to help cover some of that cost.

She had to accept the trade off she had made.

chiorgirl25 Of course you're NTA. She made a commitment and has to honor it. Once she has paid off her debt, she will be free to look for another job that will be better for her and you. Of course its ks that she couldn't take this opportunity, but she knew what she signed up for. 60k is a lot and a substantial nest egg. As an adult, I would hope she understands that.

DuncanCant NTA There will be other opportunities. It's ludicrous to shell out 60k just to leave a position 8 months early. She'll just have to tough it out.

She had to take on the responsibility, even if she didn't want to.

Haunting_Green_1786 NTA An adult is responsible for own debt especially for non-essential Masters study

MarionberryOk2874 D in, I would never ask anyone to give up $60k so I could quit 8mo early, just for what a sheer waste of money that would be.

Both husband and wife needed to have some perspective.

DiaBall Your mutual chose to not fulfill her employer education debit agreement makes both of you the AH. Fulfill the agreement then look for another job.

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.