Woman refuses to give up her weekends to babysit her brother's kids for free, and he dares to call her ‘selfish’ when she asks to be paid: ‘You don’t charge family'

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Oct 17, 2026 3:15 PM EDT

Since when did being family mean giving up every weekend to babysit someone else's kids for free?

No matter how strong her relationship with her brother is, she shouldn't have to sacrifice every weekend to babysit his children for free. After standing her ground and defending her time, she now faces being called selfish by her entire family.

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  • The woman in this story has a full-time, 40-hour-a-week kind of job. That means she's crazy busy Monday to Friday and, like most of us, uses the weekend to rest, work out, clean, grocery shop, etc. Her brother has two kids, and she's babysat them a couple of times, but not often. Things started to change when he began dropping the kids off every weekend for multiple hours a day so he and his wife could do the things she couldn't because she was with the kids. Since there was no question, and nobody thought of her, she got tired and stood her ground. He either had to pay her a small fee or drop the kids off one afternoon a month. Of course, you can imagine his reaction…

  • 01
    AITJ for refusing to babysit my brother's kids for free every weekend just because we're family?
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 02
    Aunt reading a book with nieces on a couch.
    via Unsplash+ (via Brooke Cagle)

    Aunt reading a book with nieces on a couch.

    Model portrayal.

  • 03
    Hi everyone. I need an impartial perspective on this because my family is making me feel like the worst person in the world, and I'm starting to second-guess myself.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 04
    I (26) work full-time Monday through Friday (around 40-45 hours a week). My weekends are literally my only time to rest, run errands, clean my apartment, workout, and have any kind of personal life.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 05
    My brother (32) and his wife have two kids, ages 5 and 8. A couple of months ago, my brother asked if I could watch my niece and nephew on a Saturday afternoon because they had an important event. I happily agreed because I love the kids and it was a one- time favor.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 06
    The issue is that this quickly turned into a routine without my consent. Over the last month and a half, my brother started assuming I'm available every Saturday and Sunday. It reached the point where he would
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 07
    casually text me late Friday night saying, "Dropping the kids off tomorrow at 10:00 AM," so he and his wife could go to the gym, go out to eat, or just relax.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 08
    Last weekend, I decided to set a boundary. I politely told my brother that while I love my niece and nephew, taking care of two active young kids takes a lot of energy, and I need my weekends
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 09
    to recharge and manage my own life. I suggested that if he wanted this to be a regular thing, we could agree on a small fee for my time, or limit it to one afternoon a month.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 10
    He completely blew up. He acted offended, told me that "you don't charge family," and accused me of being cold, selfish, and unsupportive.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 11
    To make matters worse, he brought our parents into it. Now my parents are calling me constantly, telling me that family always supports each other unconditionally, that it "costs me nothing" to watch my niece and nephew for a few hours, and that I should be ashamed of myself for asking for money or saying no.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 12
    I love my niece and nephew, but I feel taken advantage of. I feel like they are using emotional guilt and the "family" card to get a free, permanent babysitter at the expense of my free time and mental well-being.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 13
    AITA for holding my ground and refusing to babysit them for free every weekend?
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 14
    Woman enjoying her weekend after refusing to babysit her brother's kids for free.
    via Unsplash+ (via Kateryna Hliznitsova)

    Woman enjoying her weekend after refusing to babysit her brother's kids for free.

    Individual pictured is a model used for illustrative purposes.

  • If there's one thing I really know, it's babysitting, especially the little ones in the family, and mainly when it's free. It's not like I'm the most suitable person to watch kids; quite the opposite: I like kids, but not so much that I want to look after them every single weekend. But unfortunately, my family role meant I was the one who should be looking after everyone, even when I didn't want to. I'm the oldest of all: oldest sister, oldest cousin, and oldest grandkid. That meant I babysat all my sisters and cousins growing up. So yes, I'm more than qualified to weigh in on this story. 

  • I'm all about helping family: we're here for one another. I get that. But if I'm helping you with your kids, why don't you think about me for a second? The brother knows how much she works during the week, and it's very selfish of him to pretend that, because she's childfree, she's more than available to watch the kids every single weekend. The first thing to do is ask if someone is available to babysit, even if you don't want to hear a no. In my experience as the oldest sister and cousin, my aunts and uncles always asked me if I could watch their kids, and since I usually said yes out of compromise, I appreciated that they asked. It's about respecting others' time and weekends.

  • And don't get me started on the fact that the brother involved the parents, and now this poor woman has to face the anger of everyone only because she decided to respect her free time. What a crazy outcome. I'm with the OP here; she did nothing wrong by claiming money or, at least, organizing the babysitting schedule better. There's no reason they're roasting her.

  • 15
    RDUppercut NTJ. Tell your parents they can babysit going forward if it's so easy
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 16
    just_some_guy2000 Do not let them use emotional blackmail on you. Tell them they can pay you for the use of your time once a month. You didn't have kids. They did.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 17
    Foreign_Primary4337 Your parents can take over the Saturday and Sunday babysitting duties.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 18
    saxman522 NTJ and I'd block my brother's and parents numbers for a few weeks...like a time out
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 19
    DetroitSmash-8701 NTJ. Tell them to off. They don't get to make plans with your time. If your parents feel so strongly, they can keep their grandchildren every weekend for free.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 20
    A woman is babysitting her brother's kids over the weekend.
    via Unsplash+ (via Brooke Cagle)

    A woman is babysitting her brother's kids over the weekend.

    Scene shown is a visual representation.

  • 21
    1Sluggo This story comes around more often than the mailman.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 22
    PirateOk2052 Sounds like your parents just volunteered.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 23
    Effective-Several Tell your parents that you are glad to hear that they have volunteered to watch your brother's kids. And tell your brother that from now on, you will not be babysitting the kids at all. You have proposed a reasonable schedule with notification, and he did not like that.
    via u/Cloeplay
  • 24
    Immontes NTJ. They are disgusting to demand and expect so much help for what is THEIR responsibility. Why aren't your parents helping?
    via u/Cloeplay

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family disputes family drama entitled family entitled brother babysitting free babystting
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