Expecting mother threatens to cut off her sister if she doesn't come to her gender reveal party when she has pneumonia: 'I also have a child who she’s never met.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Oct 24, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

You would think that a woman who is carrying her child wouldn't want to be around somebody who has a serious illness, but I guess she cares more about the party than she cares about the baby's safety. 

I love to host parties. Every couple of months, my roommates and I invite our 200 closest friends to our apartment for a themed house party, and at least 60 of them show up without fail. We have developed a reputation for hosting pretty fun parties. Zack, my roommate who is great in the kitchen, makes a huge vat of special-flavored punch for all the guests, so we never run out of what keeps the party going. My other roommate, Audrey, loves to transform our space, and she makes incredible decorations that really set our house parties apart from others. I invite the majority of the party guests, mostly members of my adult recreational sports league. When we work together, we can create something wonderful. I am grateful to have roommates who are not only comfortable with us hosting parties, but also willing to put in the work to make them great. 

Over the years, I've learned you really can't be too sensitive about people bailing on your events, especially house parties. Even though I know one person not showing up won't totally change the event's trajectory, it still sometimes hurts my feelings. The worst part of the party planning experience is an hour or two before it starts, when people start sending you paragraph-long texts about why they can't make it. I know not everyone would agree, but I would rather party guests not show up than try to justify bailing. I would understand a long text explaining why you're bailing on an intimate dinner, but for a big party, I don't think it's a crime to just bail without explaining yourself. The worst is when people go from RSVPing "Going" to RSVPing "Maybe" on the day of the party. At that point, just RSVP "Can't Go," and move along!

Even though I am a little sensitive when people bail on my parties, I know my party isn't the most important thing happening in their life right now. If someone is sick or not feeling up to it, I would never judge them for skipping. I know a 27th birthday party isn't that big a deal, so I won't judge my friends for putting themselves first. 

Some events in life you really want your friends and family to be there for. If my best friend missed my baby shower or my wedding because she had a slight cold, I would be pretty upset. But if she had a serious, spreadable illness that she had not recovered from, I would not want her to take the risk of coming to an event with a ton of people. The sister in this story cares more about her party than her sister's health, her own, or her guests', and that is sad to behold.

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  • A woman sitting on a chair in front of a group of women
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    The sister at her gender reveal party.

    Photo is a representation of scenes.

  • Am I overreacting? My sister is threatening to cut me off if I don’t show up to her gender reveal.

    My older sister and I have been estranged most of our lives and connected 6 years ago. We've tried to make plans before but most of the time she gets busy. I also have a child who she's never met. I've invited her to things but she again gets busy and
    via johncenaisgay284732
  • can not attend. I understand that everyone gets busy and don't really press the matter. I got diagnosed with pneumonia 5 days ago and have been on antibiotics and am finally starting to feel better but I wanted to let her know just incase since she's preg nt and I didn't want
    via johncenaisgay284732
  • her to be uncomfortable. I texted her and got this response. I'm not sure if I even want to show up anymore. I've had pneumonia multiple times throughout my life and have been hospitalized for majority of them. Thankfully I wasn't this time. It got me thinking that
    via johncenaisgay284732
  • even if I was hospitalized she'd still penalize me for not showing. Am I over reacting for not wanting to go anymore? Am I over reacting by being put off by these messages?
    via johncenaisgay284732
  • sparksgirl1223 If someone told me id be cut off for not attending a gender reveal because of pneumonia, id let them cut me off. Stay home and get better.
    via sparksgirl1223
  • RuanaXD a sister who after 6 years of estrangement says this sh to you is someone who will continue to assert that weird dominance
    via RuanaXD
  • cryssyx3 they've been reconnected for 6 years
    via cryssyx3
  • snoopcatt87 NOR-Especially because she's insanely flakey and hasn't even met your actual fully cooked child.
    via snoopcatt87
  • Tired-CottonCandy Same. This is not a relationship worth the time or energy. Shes allowed to bail for any reasons all the time but anyone who would do so to her for any reasons is out of her life? Good riddance.
    via Tired-CottonCandy
  • Adelucas It's a gender reveal, you aren't donating a kidney. I hate gender reveals, they always feel like another gift grab. Every person I know has just shown a picture of the scan on social media and gone "It's a girl/boy". I had pneumonia a few years ago. I was hospitalised and spent 5 days on oxygen and antibiotics. I've never felt so sick in my life. I was also off work for nearly a month as I was weak as a kitten and just taking the dog for a quick walk round the block wiped me out. I cert
    via Adelucas
  • Your relationship with your sister seems one sided. You do the work, she does nothing. You attend, she doesn't. Any sister who cared about you in the slightest would be caring and tell you your health came first, and not to worry about some stupid made up event. I have a feeling she's the kind of person to demand you attend every little thing her baby has going on and spend a fortune on gifts. While refusing to do anything for your kid. I'm not seeing any care for you at all here. Just you tryin
    via Adelucas
  • ellieminnowpee gender reveals are also weird to me because it seems to center on such a competitive atmosphere? like, you're all there actively rooting for one gender over another and it's very "oooh what hobbies will they have? what job will they have?" it always feels weirdly anti-male or anti- female at those things when parents or family have really strong preferences about the gender too. like, 'daddy will be heartbroken if it's a girl!!!' so why have a big party about it?! to photograph th
    via ellieminnowpee
  • catsoddeath18 I hate it when they film someone frking out. Your child will see that someday. Because you think it's funny, they'll see a parent upset because the child isn't the gender they wanted.
    via catsoddeath18
  • zardancer Yeah that's an intense reply to your very polite and considerate message! I saw that she sent a reminder text before. Is she nervous people won't come/doesn't have a support system? Not an excuse but my immediate thought is that she's in a low place and feels like people don't care about her pregncy? But very odd since she has cancelled on you during other events
    via zardancer
  • johncenaisgay284732 OP That's mostly what I've been chopping it up to. I know that her mom's side is very involved and I've been pretty involved as much as I can since she told me. I 100% understand preg_ncy can be tough and you can feel very lonely at times and I don't want to make her feel that way. I've planned to come since she first told me about it and let her know that. I just feel that she's completely ignoring the fact that I'm sick and doesn't care that I'm also going through things. I
    via johncenaisgay284732
  • Outside-Parfait-8935 I get the impression you have to tread very carefully around her from how you worded your message. Hers was so dismissive and uncaring, focussing only on how your appearance would affect her instead of concern for how you are. If it was my sister texting me about my event, my response would be: "oh no, poor you, I hope you feel better soon. Is there anything you need? Please don't worry about coming, just take it easy and we'll catch up when you feel up to it". That, OP, is
    via Outside-Parfait-8935
  • johncenaisgay284732 OP I have other sisters who I'm very close to, they all told me to get better soon and asked if I needed something. Idk why she responded like that. It was very messed up on my end. I don't feel that I have to tread carefully thankfully, that's just how I normally text. It does come off a certain way.
    via johncenaisgay284732
  • Halo_cT This person will never bring anything positive into your life. This is a level of self-centered that is wild even for this ridiculous subreddit. It's not worth it. You'll always have these texts to share with anyone who asks why you don't have a relationship with her.
    via Halo_cT
  • Recent_Data_305 NOR. Your sister is pretty full of herself. I wonder how long she'll leave these people "cut off" when she needs a babysitter.
    via Recent_Data_305
  • PetalsandRocks She didn't even wish or hope that you feel better? She's never even met your child? Do t go to her silly little reveal. Stay home and take care of yourself and your health. That should be your #1 priority.
    via PetalsandRocks

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gender family dynamics family drama baby mother sisters pneumonia Party family sick sister gender reveal
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