Mother-in-law insists on organizing a baby shower for DIL on the non-negotiable condition that the guest list includes only her friends: ‘[She is] having us pay to feed these people’

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Mother-in-law refuses to help with the baby shower unless all her friends are kept on the guest list.
Long story short, I'm 20 weeks pregnt (my first child, my husband's second), and this weekend we went to visit my MIL. She was asking me when the baby shower would be. I told her I
wasn't planning on having one, I have no time or energy for that (for a lot of reasons that aren't relevant here) and since I got married, I had to move to my
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husbands city so in the end of the day I'm not as close to my friends and relatives anymore. It's pretty lonely actually, lol.
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So, MIL thought that was insane and offered to gather my SIL and one of my husbands cousins and take care of that herself. She'd make the baby shower happen.
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She created a group chat with all of us and started to lead the details, location, plans, with me and husband being tasked of paying for food and whatever
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else that needed spending money on, of course. I wouldn't even consider asking for her to pay for anything.
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Problem is, she made a list of the people that should be invited and it contained a lot of friends of HERS that even my husband, the father of the child, doesn't know.
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So we're basically serving as an excuse for her to arrange a party, invite whoever she wants, and having us pay to feed these people. And she said that the list is non negotiable and refuses to
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help anymore if we leave any of those names off. She thinks it's unfair she's "helping so much but can't have her friends there".
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The mother-in-law begins planning the baby shower she insisted on throwing.
I'm pretty hurt she's using that kind of argument when I thought she was offering to help with making the baby shower happen because she wanted to do
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something special for her unborn grandson, not for herself and her friends. Specially when my own people can't be there.
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I just feel like canceling the whole thing. In the end of the day, we're spending more money to feed strangers that don't know me or my husband, for a baby shower that was not my initiative, than we would if we bought the baby stuff ourselves.
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angrybee93 Cancel it!
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Flat-Replacement4828 NOR. No way in H _I should you be paying for any of this.
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Tmar0916 So she wants to give you a baby shower invite all of her friends, but have you pay for it? That makes no sense and who in their right mind would agree to that? I think you're crazy if you let her do this for you. You better cancel it. Rip the Band-Aid off now and tell her thank you but no thank you I will not be attending this baby shower. Have fun.
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StrangledInMoonlight Nope nope nope. The host(s) pay for the shower ad a gift to the new parents. She offered to host, she's supposed to pay (or split the expenses with SIL and cousin).
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daisypurr NOR. cancel it!
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Edcrfvh NOR. Cancel it for several reasons: She's throwing a party for herself at your expense You're paying for it. The mother to be doesn't pay for her own baby shower. You're far from friends and your family. People you want to attend.
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A couple prepared to welcome their baby while facing pressure to pay for a baby shower the mother-to-be never wanted.
Real-Elysium Never heard of the expecting to pay for their own shower! it's supposed to be a gift (the party) and then you get a lot of things to help with the baby. cancel it if you don't want a baby shower. NOR.
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Watching Telly Now NOR. That's not a baby shower, that's a party for her friends. Just cancel. If she's too embarrassed to cancel, then she can still have some kind of party, just without you and (more importantly) your money.
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