Man lies about having a peanut allergy to avoid telling his whole life story ends up causing problems at a friend’s party: ‘She then goes off on me, calling me selfish and attention-seeking’

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Nov 3, 2026 1:00 PM EST

Maybe don't lie about your allergy just to avoid saying a few extra sentences. It may be a bit much.

It's crazy to me how careful you have to be around allergies. Not even a crumb of a prohibited food can fall into the safe batch. It's insane the amount of care you have to have around their food, but it's all worth it for their safety. I don't have any allergies, so I don't fully understand the whole gist of it, but maybe if you had a very severe allergy for so long, like the person from this story with peanuts, maybe now you aren't fully sure about eating that food. Even though they are safe now, I wouldn't be so sure about eating it. I do think he should have been more specific about the peanuts to avoid making the friend preoccupied over something that wasn't actually that important. Nonetheless, I cannot say I don't agree with the way he acted. I kinda understand where all that comes from. 

This whole allergy story made me think of celiacs. Those people are really fighting out there to get more places where it's safe for them to eat, more foods that don't taste disgusting, more options on a menu. As a vegetarian, which is really not an allergy but a choice, I many times end up in restaurants eating the food that is designed for them just because they usually group vegan options with the celiac option. And let me just tell you, the food is always disgusting. It has almost no taste, and what your taste buds sense is not yummy. I don't really get why they do that; celiac disease is an allergy. Don't you think they deserve more options than the vegan one? 

Over the years, I have seen more and more places add vegetarian and vegan options, which is great; don't get me wrong. I'm really happy about that, especially because they are made with better ingredients, creating more delicious food. But it always amazes me how all that didn't happen for celiacs. They don't have more options than before. Sometimes they do have more restaurants only for celiacs, but not options at every restaurant. There should be some kind of law or regulation that makes food places have an option that is safe for them to eat, and it would be even better if it could also be edible and not disgusting. But maybe I'm asking too much… I know I'm not; this is literally the bare minimum. 

Both these topics, the story and the celiacs, have one takeaway. We need to pay more attention to allergies. For food allergies, there needs to be more food options for the people suffering from them. But also, there needs to be more regulations. These people are living life trusting other people when it all can go wrong in one second. We need to pay more attention to them and their demands; we need to do everything humanly possible for them to have a better time on Earth. Don't you think they also deserve to eat something delicious at a restaurant without worrying about the worst outcome? 

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  • Friends partying on a rooftop. Representation only.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Friends partying on a rooftop. 

    Representation only. 

  • For some context, I (22M) have had a peanut allergy for my entire life. The "I'll d e if I eat one" kind. It is a well known fact about me across both friends and family. I've never had issues being around them though, I don't ever say someone can't eat something with peanut butter around me. It's only if I eat it does something happen. Two summers ago, I got bl d tested and my peanut allergy came back low enough for me to do a challenge. Basically,
    via Royal_Celebration494
  • they fed me increasingly more and more peanut butter over a 3 hour span to see if anything happened. It didn't, and they said. I outgrew my allergy. Later that evening however, I got really sick and threw up 8 times in 4 hours, but I don't think it was peanut butter related (as my sister had an illness earlier that week). Now the smell of peanut butter makes me feel queasy and nauseous, so I just stay away from it (also because I hated the taste). I still
    via Royal_Celebration494
  • tell people I'm allergic if it comes up though, sometimes out of habit and also because it's easier to explain. Only close friends/family know. Flashing forward to last week, someone I know (let's call her Trish) was throwing a mutual friend (Sally) a 21st birthday party. We (me and Trish) have never really gotten along, but I was nice and cordial because I love Sally and wanted to be there.
    via Royal_Celebration494
  • The theme was D&D (Drinks and Desserts), with a bunch of people coming over. Trish was coordinating what desserts people bring. When she was asking about dietary restrictions | didn't say anything, but one of my friends in the group chat said "OP has a peanut allergy." I responded saying "I do, but don't stop anyone bringing anything because of it", to which she liked my message. I didn't think
    via Royal_Celebration494
  • anything of it, the day of the party, and there's no desserts with peanuts in it. I didn't notice this until someone asked someone else about an apparently famous chocolate peanut butter pie. That person said "Trish said that OP had a peanut allergy and to bring something else." I said "I said that she shouldn't restrict people bringing slfbing because of me, to which one of my close friends
    via Royal_Celebration494
  • said "aren't you not even allergic technically?" (Thanks dude). Well Trish overhears this and loudly exclaims "WHAT??" Not wanting this to turn into a big deal, I explain the story and that it's easier to say I'm still allergic in a half jokey tone. She then goes off on me, calling me selfish and attention seeking for telling her about an allergy I didn't even have. I responded saying that I told her specifically NOT to restrict people's food. At this
    via Royal_Celebration494
  • point, everybody is staring at us, and I can see where this is going, so I just stop talking, say goodbye to Sally, and leave. I wake up this morning to texts from different people. Some of them are asking if I'm okay, but a lot of others are saying that I should apologize to Trish for "lying to her." My two closest friends are telling me I'm not in the wrong, but I wanted to get other people's opinions.
    via Royal_Celebration494
  • A pile of raw peanuts with their shells.
    via 高 长华

    A pile of raw peanuts with their shells. 

  • LABruin78 NTA - you're not even the one who mentioned the allergy. However, I do think you should stop telling people you have a peanut allergy. It would be better to refer to it as "peanut sensitivity" and let people know it is no longer a life-or-d th issue for you.
    via LABruin78
  • Independent-Cat6915 Bro-people take allergies seriously. Of course she decided to avoid peanuts at all cost because you fr king told her you were allergic. How hard is it to tell people; "I outgrew my peanut allergy but I'm not a fan." It's one sentence.
    via Independent-Cat6915
  • OriginalDanBlah If you told them ahead of time not to worry about your "allergies" and to not let it affect anything, definitely ΝΤΑ
    via OriginalDanBlah
  • johnnybird95 im gonna say NTA because i have a ton of weird medical issues that are triggered by a bunch of different foods and i was pretty much explicitly instructed by nurses and doctors to "just say it's an allergy unless a professional is taking your medical history, it's easier for most people to understand and therefore less risky". there's still a chance it was the peanut butter in the test that made you sick.
    via johnnybird95
  • just saying you're allergic until it's absolutely, beyond reasonable doubt, proven otherwise, can save your life. people who don't care to try and understand this aren't worth it
    via johnnybird95
  • resting_bees NTA, there's still a chance that the throwing up could've been due to the peanut butter. you told them it was okay to still make products with them
    via resting_bees
  • Middle-Computer-2320 The intense reaction to the smell and extreme dislike of the taste can be signs of an allergy.
    via Middle-Computer-2320
  • ToastetteEgg NTA. Just be honest. You were deathly allergic, you've mostly grown out of it and it's not as deadly anymore. You avoid it because you always have. If they can't understand that, they aren't worth your time.
    via ToastetteEgg

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friendship entitlement discussion peanut problems allergy food celiac
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