Eric's Dad Just Refused a Great Deal on Cell Phone Service!

My dad is on the phone with a telemarketer. Mid sentence, he cuts him off: "I'm terribly sorry, but I have to go masturbate now." Hilarity ensues.
From Eric

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UPDATE: 16-year-old boy gets car towed by neighbor after he won't stop parking large truck on their lawn: 'It's not my problem'

UPDATE: 16-year-old boy gets car towed by neighbor after he won't stop parking large truck on their lawn: 'It's not my problem'

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HOA demands homeowner fix brown patch in his lawn, he obliges by planting heaps of mint which multiplies throughout the neighborhood: 'Spring comes and mint is EVERYWHERE - around mailboxes, along walking paths, even in their fancy entrance landscaping'

HOA demands homeowner fix brown patch in his lawn, he obliges by planting heaps of mint which multiplies throughout the neighborhood: 'Spring comes and mint is EVERYWHERE - around mailboxes, along walking paths, even in their fancy entrance landscaping'

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44-year-old mom goes no contact with cruel bio dad and stepmom, worries about depriving 6-year-old son of grandparents: 'He keeps asking about his grandpa'

44-year-old mom goes no contact with cruel bio dad and stepmom, worries about depriving 6-year-old son of grandparents: 'He keeps asking about his grandpa'

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‘She acted like I was her human she’d known forever’: Heartbroken adopter arrives to bring home her soul-cat, only to learn the shelter gave her away despite calls, emails, and hours of bonding

‘She acted like I was her human she’d known forever’: Heartbroken adopter arrives to bring home her soul-cat, only to learn the shelter gave her away despite calls, emails, and hours of bonding

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20-year-old receptionist gets fired after 4 days for lack of experience despite insisting she was qualified: 'I don't understand why this happened'

20-year-old receptionist gets fired after 4 days for lack of experience despite insisting she was qualified: 'I don't understand why this happened'

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Homeowner asks elderly neighbors to stop parking in his driveway, they refuse and tell him he's being "too rigid": '[They] suddenly started to use my driveway, first for a couple of hours and by now they are just straight up occupying it'

Homeowner asks elderly neighbors to stop parking in his driveway, they refuse and tell him he's being "too rigid": '[They] suddenly started to use my driveway, first for a couple of hours and by now they are just straight up occupying it'

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