Tom Hardy's Myspace Pictures Will Remind You of Your Own Human Failings
Tom Hardy, Hollywood leading man and naval-certified dream boat, is a human just like you.
And just like you, he had a Myspace profile back when it was a social imperative to do so.
And just like you, it was full of half-baked self descriptions and terrible pictures.
Admit it, your Myspace page was also a wasteland of ill-formed notions, crafted from clumsy ideas on how to introduce yourself to the Internet.
We don't have yours, so let's look at Hardy's.
It's got some pictures of him acting stupidThere was a problem rendering this tweet - it may have been deleted.
Remember when Tom Hardy had a MySpace? (His actual original caption: x i'm cooking a turkey yo x x) pic.twitter.com/Gizs0VZD63— Dani (????) (@chlorrofthemask) May 26, 2015
Just like yours did!
It's got some pictures of him actin' all sexy like
Another gratuitous Tom Hardy MySpace picture ???? pic.twitter.com/i2oCLJj8zX— Alex (@AlexEtchells) November 21, 2013
Tom Hardy's old Myspace pictures.... hahahahah pic.twitter.com/0i80inhd— Komz. (@_komzlfc) September 28, 2012
I'm so so so so glad Tom Hardy had a myspace and uploaded terrible pictures of himself to it. pic.twitter.com/9vVelhqZ— Diandra (@diandrasharline) December 23, 2012
Although it's tough to tell with this last one...
And it has a terrible description, circa the Myspace eraThere was a problem rendering this tweet - it may have been deleted.
Here's his personal description, via fatseux:
I never lie. If you suck you suck..If you're good I take my hat off and I'm all over you. I'll bend over backwards to help anyone of their word.. fuck me around I'll let it go I'm not here for stuff I'm here to live and give whatever it is I can to nourish rather than to take and move on, I'm course and straight, I act for a living now adopting characters for money, it is a languague I was born into, I always wanted to be someone else, it isn't rocket science it's easy, now that I've made amends for lying to myself, it is a trade craft nothing more, I pray I don't get caught up "living the dream." such a lonely place. having said that; your best like my best just isn't good enough. ever, no scarface syndrome here, no resting on laurels, there is always work to do, I'll clean up my side of the street promptly admitting where I am wrong, the work doesn't stop.
I'm Grateful, arrogant self centred, tenacious, versatile, honest, honourable, loyal, loving, gentle, consistent, reliable, focussed, prideful, passionate and nuts. I have a head like a disco ball, if I say I'll do something, unless I absolutely can't it gets done, I never give up on humanity, I love people. I want to see communities stand up, honest and open, flexing to the fullest of their capabilities and combined usefullness. happy. I laugh at bullies. I am reactionary but I have learned to hold my tongue and my trigger finger. Man made mistakes take lives from those that deserve to recover in time, there is always another way forward better even if it is around the side or back, I try to find it. the mind is like a parachute it will only work when it is opened.
i am often afraid. So I have to share.I want to help, it's not my business to judge, I make mistakes, I stand corrected, I accept casualties and walk with hope because I fucking LOVE. I could so easily be dead. My head is like a dangerous neighbourhood I should never be in it without an appropriate adult. left to my own devices I'll crash the motor. Religion to me is a neccesssary device for the presence of combined faith, branded for those who want to get into heaven, I have to have faith, but I chose the path of spirituality, spirituality seems to me to be for those who've been to Hell. I don't want to go back there. I am a goldfish walking through a desert. Thank you H.P for my life. I want to work and be useful, be part of the solution and not the problem…
what a load of self satisfied smug and charmless tatter x
So raise a glass and toast the Myspace profiler in all of our pasts.
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