This Dad Tweets The Funniest Things His Kids Say About Animals

We have all read James Breakwell's funny tweets about being a parent. This time, we have compiled for you a list of things his kids had to say specifically about animals. And it's hilarious. 

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  • 01
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn Me: What did you do at school today? 5-year-old: Learned about dragons. Me: Your class learned about dragons? 5: I learned about dragons. I don't know what everybody else was doing. 11:54 AM - 19 Apr 2018 28,488 Retweets 141,964 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 02
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: Do sharks like carrots? Me: No. 5: What if they do but no one ever gives them any? She just solved sharks. 5:37 PM - 23 Mar 2018 856 Retweets 7,152 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 03
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: Can penguins play basketball? Me: No. Why? 5: No reason Time to check her room. 8:17 AM - 21 Apr 2018 214 Retweets 3,515 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 04
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: Why can't dogs go to school? Me: Dogs are animals. 5: They let in boys. 12:18 PM - 18 Apr 2018 3,441 Retweets 16,645 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 05
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: Why don't girl deer have antlers? Me: Maybe they don't want them. 5: Yeah. They're too smart to fight. 10:29 AM - 5 Apr 2018 464 Retweets 4,472 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 06
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @Xploding Unicorn I accidentally spilled sugar. The bad news is my 2-year-old licked it off the floor. The good news is we don't have to worry about ants 1:54 PM - 14 Apr 2018 262 Retweets 4,133 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 07
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 3-year-old: Why do dogs poop? Me: Why do you poop? 3: Lasers. Not the answer I was looking for, but okay. 4:10 PM -12 Apr 2018 283 Retweets 3,963 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 08
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @Xploding Unicorn 5-year-old: Are dogs people? Me: No 5: Me: Sometimes. 5: Me: Always. 5: Good 9:49 AM - 6 Apr 2018 234 Retweets 2,666 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 09
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's probably my 3-year-old pretending to be a leprechaun Don't ask. 9:12 AM - 29 Mar 2018 333 Retweets 5,122 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 10
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn What my pig's oinks mean: Loud oink: I want food. Quiet oink: I want food. Deep oink: I want food. Irritated oink: I'm irritated. Also, I want food. 6:20 AM - 29 Mar 2018 265 Retweets 4,286 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 11
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: *spits* Me: No being a llama. 5: I'm a cobra 5:46 PM - 7 Mar 2018 286 Retweets 4,819 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 12
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn [having an existential crisis] Me: I'm a mess. 3-year-old: I'm a reindeer. 6:36 PM - 4 Mar 2018 830 Retweets 7,778 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 13
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: Can we get a fish? Me: We have a pig 5: She can't swim. 2:59 PM - 3 Mar 2018 204 Retweets 4,403 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 14
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn Me: What does a cow say? 2-year-old: Cow! Cow! Thanks, Pokémon. 10:54 AM - 26 Feb 2018 521 Retweets 4,896 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter
  • 15
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 7-year-old: How many dogs can you own? Me: There's no limit. 7: *silently mouths OMG* 7:16 AM - 22 Feb 2018 1,237 Retweets 8,545 Likes
    via xplodingunicorn on twitter

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