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Acting Like Animals: Wrong Way on a One Way... tortoise?

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acting like animals backwards chipmunk confused lolwut tortoise wrong way - 5784116992
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Hello, my name is Mr. Nibbles, and I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. Anyone care to tell me how to get off this tortoise? And for that matter, would someone also enlighten me as to how one goes about cracking the shells off nuts? I'm terribly, terribly confused right now...

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