35 Times the Last BlockBuster Was the Best Parody Account on Twitter

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mattstaff
Aug 25, 2018 9:00 PM EDT

The genius parody account @loneblockbuster tweets as the last open blockbuster in existence. Who knew desperation in a rapidly media landscape could be so funny?

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  • 01
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Our delivery service only applies to customers who are physically bedridden or legally unable to leave their property.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 02
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Hope everyone is having a nice, relaxing weekend. Has anyone seen our front door?
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 03
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Hey guys, hate to be a stickler but if you could drop your returns in the return slot instead of keeping them forever that would be awesome thank you
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 04
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster The front doors are not push doors. It only says push because that's the brand of door
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 05
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Employee Spotlight: Brian! Age: 38 Experience: 22 years Visitation Rights: Every other weekend Favorite Movie: Seven Samurai
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 06
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster If you're going to let something as silly as carbon monoxide keep you from renting the world's greatest films then we don't want your business anyway.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 07
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Just found out my college roommate made partner. Rent From Justin to Kelly today.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 08
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster If you rent a new release this weekend we'll let you punch, kick, or spit on our Bill Cosby Ghost Dad cutout.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 09
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster We had to stop doing Take Your Daughter To Work Day because Colleen has too many daughters
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 10
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Can't believe Family Video is doing 20% off all Roseanne films this weekend. Wow
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 11
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbster Colleen just ran outside and broke a car's window because there was a baby inside but it turned out the car was on and the driver was in there too
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 12
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster If you enjoy John Belushi and are willing to compromise, you'll dig K-9 (1988) starring Jim Belushi. Available now.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 13
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster I often take this job for granted but then I introduce a teen boy to Cruel Intentions and I'm reminded why I got into this business in the first place
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 14
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster A bit of good news today, looks like our delivery driver will keep his face.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 15
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Due to some reasons we no longer have a landline so if you want to see if a movie is in stock shoot Darren a text.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 16
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster You might not think Blockbuster is the best place to shop for Mom this Mother's Day. And it's hard to argue with your position there.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 17
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster You could do a whole date night in the Oak Lawn Shopping Center. You could start with a tasty dinner at Boston Market, then stroll over to FedEx to scan a document, get some discount haircuts from Rita, and cap off the night with a rental from us.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 18
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Stay out of the comedy section for a bit. Some lady's water just broke all over.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 19
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster We were there for you when your mom walked out on your family. The least you could do is be there for us now.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 20
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster We apologize for not being open yesterday but we forgot.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 21
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster If you've run out of things to do you could come here.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 22
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Hey Debbie Gershwig, your husband is in here again and he's doing it again.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 23
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster In honor of the passing of our founder, Wayne Huizenga, our QuickDrop Return Slot will officially be known as the Wayne Huizenga Memorial QuickDrop Return Slot.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 24
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Don't believe everything you read about our carpet.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 25
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster A Blockbuster gift card is the perfect way to say I'm sorry I threw a bottle of Red Stripe at your dad last night.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 26
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster The reason Toys R Us is dead and we're still alive is simple. We never invested heavily in a mascot.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 27
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster 30% of our movies feature werewolves. RockCreek Werewolf @RkCreekWerewolf Replying to @loneblockbuster Why don't you have more movies about werewolves?
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 28
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster People love to give us shit about not buying Netflix back in the day like they have $2,800 just lying around
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 29
    White - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Made a sale.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 30
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster There's a family of four browsing in here and none of them have eyebrows
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 31
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Please leave all scooters, walkers, strollers, wheelchairs, and portable IV poles by the front of the store. We cant have the aisles getting clogged up.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 32
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Colleen is making us work a full day on Memorial Day yet she has no problem shutting down the store at 4pm on International Margarita Day.
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 33
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Let us make something very clear, we would never sell your personal information like Facebook did unless there was a financial incentive for us to do so. Period. End of story
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 34
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster We offer all the fun and excitement of a movie theater but without the teens yanking each other off in the row in front of you. Rent today
    via @loneblockbuster
  • 35
    Text - The Last Blockbuster Follow @loneblockbuster Due to overwhelmingly negative customer feedback we will be taking down the wall art that the kids at the children's hospital painted for us.
    via @loneblockbuster

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