18 Sick Facebook Burns, Bro

Bust out the aloe vera, ladies and gents! Here are 18 of the best zingers, one-liners, and comebacks we've seen. Sometimes the truth hurts...

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  • 01
    Text - SORT Asked a student to give me sentences using superlatives and comparatives. All going well then he used soon 'He came soon but she came sooner'. Grammatically correct? Yes. True? Probably not Unlike Comment Share 3 seconds ago near Madrid - You like this. Write a commen... failbook.com
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  • 02
    Text - 26 minutes ago near can't...stop...EATING!! Like Comment Promote < Ex BF worms? 22 minutes ago Like wouldn't be the first thing you gave me about a minute ago Like Nice Lileo failbook.com
  • 03
    Text - It would be much easier to do jumping jacks if my dick weren't hitting me in the face. Like Comment about an hour ago likes this. I didnt know you were only 3 inches tal? about an hour ago Unlike 6
  • 04
    Text - minutes ago without the ugly in this world, there would be nothing beautiful Share kes this Thank you for your sacrifice 3 minutes ago http://en.wikipedia.org/wik/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States List of burn centers in the United States-Wikipedia, the free WIKIMEDIA encyclopedia project en.wikipedia.org This is a List of burn centers in the United States. A burn center or burns unit is a hospital specializing in the treatment of burns. a few seconds ago
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  • 05
    Text - 14 3 Like Comment Share 2 hours ago near Kingwood, Virginia To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches 4 Unlike Comment 82 II
  • 06
    Text - 12 hours ago BRB need to go burn stuff my ex gave me- Like Comment and 37 others like this. You can't burn herpes. Silly about an hour ago Unlike 2
  • 07
    Text - 14 minutes ago Iyou Like Comment Share |aww.. how sweet 9 minutes ago Like I drew it with my penis on my iPad! 6 minutes ago Like why is the font so thin? about a minute ago Like 2 Write a comment... Press Enter to post
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  • 08
    Text - Kirsten Call me a sl t. Call me a wh re. Call me whatever. I've heard it before. Say that I'm fake. Say that I lie. Say what you want. You won't see me cry, becauseI know none of it's true, but calling me all this** ha, what the hell does that make you? Me Gusta 7rOll p2p 3 m!nz b4 via Picnik - * Hannah <3 7h!5 Violet captain obvious 4 f3w s3c0ndz 4g0 Me Gusta Mitch Sp4m 7h!5 failbook.com
  • 09
    Text - Husband and wife about an hour ago via mobile Would you like to go out with me tonight? Like Comment Unfollow Post See Friendship ikes this. I would love to! Pick you up at 5? about an hour ago Like 1 Losers 28 minutes ago via mobile Like Meaniel Just cuz you don't have a Friday night date! 5 minutes ago via mobile Like I do actually! We have reservations at 7 4 minutes ago via mobile Like You and miles? I think Petsmart closes at 6 2 minutes ago via mobile Unlike 1 Gonna need some ointme
    From jakeblade9
  • 10
    Text - Partyy at my houuse saturday! Don't come if ur uglyyyy!) 31 minutes ago via BlackBerry Like Comment and 8 others like this. its not a good idea to have a party at your house if you won't be there about a minute ago Like Guess you're not going then ? about a minute ago Like Write a comment... failbook.com
    From admorton
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  • 11
    Text - Roger 11 hours ago via mobile Time to watch some Netflix and take off my pants. It's the little things in life. Lol. Like Comment Unfollow Post 12 people like this Lindsay 10 hours ago Like 7 you see the little things in life alot when you take off your pants? Mikel I've heard that about him... 10 hours ago via mobile Like 2 Roger or the fact that everyone liked her comment. Well played everyone. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my penis reduction surgery. about an hour ago via mobil
  • 12
    Text - hobbit trailer comes on i say "i wanna see that" GF says "i know babe....you wanna see where you come from" Unlike Comment Share 7 minutes ago - You like this. HAHAHAHAHA BEST GF BURN EVER!!!!! 4 minutes ago Like http://25.media.tumblr.com /tumblr_miptwdBG1elqdcchso1_500.jpg http://25.media.tumblr.com/ tumblr_m1ptwdBG1e1qdcchso1_50o.jpg LEGEN 25.media.tumblr.com WAITFORIT DARY failbook.com
    From Unknown
  • 13
    Sky - Will Like Comment -Share Friday at 11:20am 2 people like this. Nice sunset, did you post this while you were Troy waiting to see your gynecologist? 23 minutes ago Like 1 Will Haha. Nice 3 minutes ago Like Will Actually it's where your wife and I are planning to vacation to.... 2 minutes ago Like Write a comment... failbook.com
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  • 14
    Text - Latoria Arent you fools a l to old for pokemon 39 minutes ago Like Comment Alex Sufc Ashbourne likes this. aren't you a lttle young to be a mother? 29 minutes ago Like 8 people Hah! You better have BURN HEAL! failbook.com
  • 15
    Text - 25 May via Mobile So I've decided I need to do something to get over my irrational fear of whales, any ideas? Like Comment Go swimmin with 1?? Haha! X 25 May at 23:31 Like :O what if it eats me?? :(lol! 25 May at 23:37 via Mobile Like | Then ur fecked! Ahaa! Just kiddin don't swim with 1 ur fears ok its not asif ur gunna walk past 1 in town! Cud be worse u could be scared off buttons :/looool 25 May at 23:39 Like | Haha yeah :) 25 May at 23:45 via Mobile Like IStop looking in the mirror.
    From Unknown
  • 16
    Text - amen to this one GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE DADS WITH PRETTY DAUGHTERS KILL PEOPLE. Wall Photos By: DailyMunch Like Comment- Share 4 hours ago 3 people like this dad won't have to kill no one lol hours ago via mobile Like failbook.commment
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  • 17
    Text - "Mom walks in as I'm messing around on her crutches Mom: Oh Matt, are you going to bring those to school tomorrow? Me: Why would I do that? Mom: "So the girls wilfeel bad for you and you can finally get a date. Well played Mom, well played... Like Comment Sunday at 8:36pm and 8 others lke this. View all 37 comments Write a comment... failbook.com
    From Matt_Mahael
  • 18

    And, last but not least, a celebrity burn. Thanks, Zach.

    Text - 8m @zachbraff your profile pic makes you look very old #notflattering Expand Zach Braff@zachbraff 5m yours makes you look like a drunk sorority girl who think she knows her best angle but doesn't Hide conversation Reply Retweeted Favorite

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