16 Of History's Most Ruthless Clapbacks

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mattstaff
Sep 29, 2018 8:00 PM EDT

You can still feel the burn from these. 

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  • 01
    Text - Woman at White House Dinner: "Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you." Coolidge: "You lose."
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  • 02
    Photo caption - Bessie Braddock: "Winston, you are drunk!" Churchill: "You're right. Bessie And you're ugly. But tomorrow morning. I'll be sober And you'll still be ugly."
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  • 03
    Text - Pericles: When I was your age, Alcibiades, I talked just the way you are now talking Alcibiades: If only I had known you, Pericles, when you were at your best.
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  • 04
    Hair - Noel Coward: "You look almost like a man." Edna Ferber: "So do you."
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  • 05
    Photo caption - Lady Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband.rd put poinson in your coffee. Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, l'd drink it."
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  • 06
    Outerwear - Audience Member: What do you think of the singer's execution?" Coolidge: "I'm all for it."
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  • 07
    Sitting - Lewis Morris "There's a conspiracy against me. a conspiracy of silence: but what can one do? What should do?" Oscar Wilde: Join it
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  • 08
    Gentleman - Actress: "l enjoyed reading your book Who wrote if for you?" lka Chase: "Darling, I'm so glad that you liked it. Who read it to you?"
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  • 09
    Text - Anonymous Singer: "You know, my dear, I insured my voice for fifty thousand dollars. Miriam Hopkins: "That's wonderful. And what did you do with the money?"
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  • 10
    Text - Admirer: "Herr Mozart, I am thinking of writing symphonies. Can you give me any suggestions as to how to get started?" Mozart: "A symphony isa very complex musical form. Perhaps you should begin with some simple lieder and work your way up to a symphony. Admirer: "But Herr Mozart, you were writing symphonies when you were 8 years old." Mozart: "Yes, but I never asked anybody how."
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  • 11
    Text - Parliament Member: "Mr. Churchill must you fall asleep while I'm speaking? Churchill: "No, it's purely voluntary."
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  • 12
    Text - John Montagu "Sir, I do not know whether you will die on thelgallows or of the pox." John Wilkes: That will depend, my lord, on whether l embrace your principles or your mistress.
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  • 13
    Photo caption - George BernardShaw: "I have reserved two tickets for opening night. Come and bring a friend, if you have one." Churchill: "Impossible to come to first night. Will come second night, if you have one."
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  • 14
    Photo caption - Faulkners "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." Hemingway: "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
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  • 15
    Text - After ameeting Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau learned that President Richard Nixon had called him an a hole Trudeau laterresponded. Trudeau ve been called worse things by better men"
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  • 16
    Gentleman - Clays "Twould rather be right than be president." Reed: "The gentleman need not trouble himself. He'll never be either
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