Absent bio dad attempts to reconnect with 20-year-old son after years of neglect, son rejects his efforts and aunts get involved: "I don't have a dad"

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 17, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Hey there ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Sometimes, the past comes back to haunt us. We may feel like we've really worked through something significant, that our whole perspective on something has changed for the better. It could be that we've gone to therapy, practiced meditation, or vented to our friends for hours. We could feel a sense of pride and accomplishment from our detachment from a situation, and our peace with it. That is until it comes up and haunts us again. 


Whether the situation is a tense and hostile family relation, getting over a toxic ex, or reconnecting with a friend who wronged you, life will throw relationship curves at us that we can only combat ourselves. 
In the story below, the protagonist is still a young man, only 20-years-old. His father has been absent in his life for the entirety of it, until recently. The father wants to make amends, but his son refuses to let him.

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  • 01

    AITA for rejecting my father's attempt to be in my life after 20 years and for not wanting to form a relationship with his young children?

    Cheezburger Image 10530161664
    via AndreyPopov from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My father was never in my (20M) life. His parents and siblings were. | grew up seeing them once a week and sometimes more if they
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964

  • The aunts in the story have no right to dictate who the protagonist should be involved with. He's still young, sure, but if he doesn't want a relationship with his father then it can't be forced. Why would he want a relationship with random children he's never met?

  • 03
    had things on. My mom was on good terms with them. But him? First time I saw him was 6 months
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 04
    ago. He showed up at a cousins wedding that I was also attending.
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 05
    Then I saw him again two weeks ago. He approached me at my grandmother's birthday party. He said he was sorry for not being there and he wanted me to know
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 06
    that he wanted to try and prove himself to me and he wanted me to give him a chance. I told him it was way too late and I wasn't interested. He asked if he could
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10530166272
    via Eziutka from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    change my mind at all. I said no. Then he tried to tell me that he'd drive over once a week if I agreed and he'd be here for me, he'd pay for stuff like he never did before.
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 09
    He offered to do anything and I told him nothing could make up for 20 years of never seeing his face. Of mom being forced to
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 10
    raise me alone. I said he didn't get to change his mind after all her hard work. He ran back to his wife looking dejected.
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 11
    His wife approached me just before I left and she asked me to consider a relationship with her and my father's children. They have three under 8. She said they
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 12
    wanted to approach me both times they saw me but they didn't feel like I wanted them to and she said my grandparents were willing to give us a chance to get
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 13
    to now each other. She said it would be great if we could be in each others lives. I told her I understood she was looking out for her kids but I'm an only child
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 14
    in the ways that count for me. I said I'll be friendly with her kids if I'm speaking to them but I don't want a deeper relationship. She left it at that.
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 15
    Following on from the party I heard from my two aunts and they wanted to know why I was unwilling to work on any of this.
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 16
    They said they could understand my feelings toward my father, but they felt like I was throwing away a chance to have something I
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 17
    wanted as a kid, something I deserved. Their bigger issue was me refusing to form a relationship with those kids. They asked me what my reason for
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10530161152
    via Georgijevic from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    that was and I told them I don't have a dad or a second parent. I only have mom. She only has me. Therefore I'm an only child. I said
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 20
    they would be more like cousins but I wasn't going to string them along and let them think I wanted to be their brother.
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 21
    There's been a lot of back and forth since with my aunts. They do not support my decision. They said whether I like it or not I am not an only child. And while that
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 22
    is biologically true, the man raising them had nothing to do with me and had no part in making me who I am. The only parent I have is my mom. I can
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 23
    acknowledge I'm still related to these kids but I cannot find it in me to care enough to form a relationship. I'll be friendly like I
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 24
    told their mom but ultimately I wouldn't ever go out of my way to spend time with or get to know them. AITA?
    via u/Confident-Crazy-8964
  • 25
    Inevitable_Speed_7... • 9h ago Ask your aunts why they haven't been pressuring your dad to make amends for the past 20 years
    via u/Inevitable_Speed_710

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