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Funniest Relationship Tweets We Scrolled Past This Week (November 14, 2018)

Guaranteed to make you laugh, cry or both.

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  • 1
    Text - Simon Holland Follow @simoncholland [sitting at a table] Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across Me: crosses out and writes new number *thermostat negotiations* 5:42 PM - 8 Nov 2018 212 Retweets 1,061 Likes
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  • 2
    Text - Kimberly M. Follow @queenkimbaby Ex: I miss you Me: lol I don't blame you 12:16 PM - 7 Nov 2018 16,914 Retweets 44,793 Likes
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  • 3
    Text - Oops!...I Dad It Again Follow @NewDadNotes Wife: [on phone] what are you up to? Me: We Bought a Zoo with Matt Damon. Wife: aw I love that movie! Me: what movie? Matt Damon: did you tell her yet? [elephant noise in the background] what did she say? 11:45 AM - 16 Aug 2018 796 Retweets 3,816 Likes
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  • 4
    Text - yabkat Follow @ohen39 [meeting girlfriend's parents] me: I'm a big fan of your work 9:40 AM - 12 Nov 2018 988 Retweets 4,738 Likes
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  • 5
    Text - Janie B. Goode Follow @2browneyedboys [in bed] Him: are you close? Me: *eating KitKat layer by layer* don't rush me, Kevin 6:22 PM -9 Nov 2018 266 Retweets 1,432 Likes
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  • 6
    Text - Jon Follow @ArfMeasures Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date* McDonalds drive-thru employee: what 6:41 AM 12 Nov 2018 1,250 Retweets 7,613 Likes
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  • 7
    Text - Josh Follow @iwearaonesie [during sex] wife: This doesn't mean that I like you 4:23 AM - 10 Nov 2018 482 Retweets 2,173 Likes
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  • 8
    Text - Tall, Dark and.. Follow @de2theJay My wife and I differ on the definition of "cheat day" ..I know this now! 10:01 PM - 10 May 2018 236 Retweets 549 Likes
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  • 9
    Text - Mat Follow @MatCro GF: I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split up ME: Good idea. We can cover more ground that way. 6:11 AM - 26 Jul 2015 38,149 Retweets 65,781 Likes
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  • 10
    Text - Jon Follow @ArfMeasures Wife: There is something wrong with you Me: What a thing to say just before our dog's first salsa lesson 5:43 AM - 13 Nov 2018 8 Retweets 35 Likes
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  • 11
    Text - Terry F Follow @daemonic3 me: so you're just going to pack up my things? as if none of this meant anything to you?? grocery bagger: what 2:29 PM - 9 Nov 2018 231 Retweets 940 Likes
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  • 12
    Text - Sassparilla @Megatronic13 Follow Him: I'm breaking up with you Me: is it because I constantly use my toes as fingers? Him: yes Me: wipes a tear off of his face with my big toe* Okay 9:19 AM 9 Nov 2018 369 Retweets 2,518 Likes
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  • 13
    Text - Consider John Frazzled Follow @FrazzleMyGimp ME: Can I buy you a drink? HER: I have a boyfriend. ME: {counting coins on the table} He can only get something small then. 8:29 AM - 16 May 2018 62,936 Retweets 281,646 Likes
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  • 14
    Text - Dropped Standards Follow @rebrafsim [date] Her: I'm a chiropractor Me: *under breath* whoa I thought they were extinct 8:50 AM 13 Nov 2018 644 Retweets 2,502 Likes
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