17 People Share the Stupidest Things They Believed as Kids

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Eric Lund
Dec 19, 2018 11:00 AM EST

Sometimes parents lie to their kids to keep them safe. Sometimes they lie to keep things fun. Sometimes they just wanna be absolute douches.

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  • 01
    Text - edited 1 day ago S CrapTaxidermy 31.2k points 1 day ago That Moths were the Ghosts of Butterflies. Cheers for that one Dad. Edit: My apologies to any young ones both present and future that this tale may be recanted to, that said, it definitely got me into the habit of turning lights off.
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  • 02
    Text - bobnojio 29.9k points 1 day ago S x2 When I was but a wee lad, we helped dad cut down trees Big trees. He was always worried about which way they would tip, so he would pace out a length of rope, tie it to a tall branch, and have all the kids pull as hard as we could, to help the tree fall in the correct direction while he worked the chainsaw. YOU SIT ON A THRONE OF LIES! He used rope so that he knew where all the kids were, and paced it out so that even IF the tree fell at us, we were fa
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  • 03
    Text - RoboPaladin 25.1k points 1 day ago When I went to a camp my mum agreed to take care of my hamster. Hamstie was the best, cuddliest creature and enjoyed playing with me. When I came back, Hamstie was a wild asshole, biting my hand. Because my mum didn't play enough with him, he went feral. Turned out he didn't go feral after all. Our family dog ate Hamstie and mum replaced him with identical hamster.
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  • 04
    Text - 1 day ago x2 Schmaunt_18 21.6k points That people could flush themselves down the toilet. Once when I was 4 I had annoyed my mom enough that she said "Alright I guess I'm gonna go flush myself!". I ran into the bathroom after her only to find the toilet flushing and her gone. She was laughing behind the shower curtain as I cried into the toilet.
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  • 05
    Text - sconri2 18.2k points 1 day ago edited 1 day ago I was quite young (5?) and my uncle was babysitting my sister and I. First lie was that they used some sort of liquid to make dirty diapers edible and that we had both been eating dirty diapers for years. Second, he told me about a great trick we were going to play where we would get my sister to go to bed early by having me run up and down the hallway with her until she became exhausted. We both laughed when our plan worked perfectly. Then,
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  • 06
    Text - ifntchingyu 17.4k points 1 day ago I grew up believing the president (bush) called my dad every day to make sure his watch was set correctly. I told my teacher this. facepalm My dad also taught Bruce Lee and Jackie chan everything they know.
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  • 07
    Text - SKsix 15.5k points 1 day ago I had a stuffed squirrel (taxidermy) on my wall when I was a kid. Ny dad said I could not touch it because it was toxic if I got it on my hands. I have always been very careful when I have moved it aroud and washed my hands real good unless I used gloves. When I was 28 i learned that he said it so I wouldnt ruin by petting it.... Still washes my hands after moving it...
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  • 08
    Text - ZuMelon 16.9k points 1 day ago That teachers don't gossip about students When you are an adult and see your friends become teachers you know very well they talk about the pupils
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  • 09
    Text - Evil_Garen 6.3k points 1 day ago That your elementary school actually had a detailed "permanent record" that would haunt you for life.
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  • 10
    Text - Yesaye94 6.7k points 1 day ago edited 1 day ago As a child, there was this cartoon character I enjoyed watching called Johnny Bravo. The TV show would always give this number you could call, which you'd have to pay for, so you can call the show and actually talk to Johnny Bravo through the phone One night, my mother calls me downstairs and hands me the phone. Who's voice do I hear? Johnny Bravo. I was so ecstatic to hear his voice and talk to him and I was jumping with joy and I kept that
    via AskReddit
  • 11
    Text - arbysg00dm3at 8.4k points 1 day ago x2 When I was about 10 my grandfather took me fishing Being a 10 year old, I caught nothing but weeds. I asked him if we could cook the weeds, which he replied "Of Course!" I go back to their house and watch tv while I wait for my delicous pond weeds Fast forward 5 years and I am a high school freehman One day the cafeteria served green beans. I thought they were lake weeds so I bet my friend 10 dollars that they were from a lake. I found out that I did
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  • 12
    Text - mathingDayandNight 9.0k points 1 day ago that when my aunt went skydiving she brought me back a piece of a cloud. It was just a cottonball pulled apart and sitting in a baggy...
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  • 13
    Text - asdf0909 10.2k points 1 day ago when i asked my dad why asian people had umbrellas open when it was sunny out, he told me it's because they have a terrific sense of sarcasm, and they do it for laughs. I believed that for longer than i care to admit
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  • 14
    Text - bilbo044 14.2k points 1 day ago S That the ice cream van siren means they are out of ice cream
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  • 15
    Text - LastCallAgain 14.7k points 1 day agox3 While working on the cars or in his workshop, my dad would often initially turn the wrench the wrong way. He would look me in the eye and say "Sometimes you have to tighten 'em upa little before you can,loosen 'em." A few years ago l said it to one of my own teen-aged boys while helping with his car. His response was "Dad, thats the stupidest thing Ive ever heard." For over 30 years I hadn't realized my dad was just covering up for the fact that he w
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  • 16
    Text - PM me_your_dawgs 15.5k points 1 day ago My aunt and uncle told us that kids werent allowed in blockbuster after 8 pm because my sister and i could never decide on a movie. What made it believable was one time we sawa younger kid getting arrested outside the store. My uncle told us it was because it was after 8 pm. Took way too long for me to catch on.
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  • 17
    Text - LookingReallyQuantum 5.1k points 1 day ago I can't remember how old I was, but we were driving somewhere and saw a truck carrying part of one of those pre-fabricated houses. I asked why the house was cut in half. My dad replied in a completely deadpan voice that the couple probably got divorced and they each got half the house.
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wholesome pets kids growing up lies ice cream parenting toilet ridiculous dumb stories stupid parents
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