CheezCake

Funniest Relationship Tweets We Scrolled Past This Week

  • 1
    Text - baby g Follow @germanndasavage i want to marry someone as funny as me imagine we both laughing because we forgot to pick the kids up from school 6:43 PM - 1 Jan 2019 90,937 Retweets 333,723 Likes
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  • 2
    Text - beth mccoll Follow @imteddybless how to waste your time 2019 Ali @AleyFarooqq take a broken guy, fix him and he will love you forever 9:11 AM - 2 Jan 2019 16,786 Retweets 66,785 Likes
  • 3
    Text - tasbeeh herwees Follow @THerwees starting to realize i dont want a husband i just want a two-income household 9:13 PM 3 Jan 2019 1,187 Retweets 8,272 Likes
  • 4
    Text - Josh Follow @iwearaonesie wife: I know we had plans tonight but I've been stuck in traffic for an hour and I just want to come home and relax me [unaware that we had plans] Ok 6:18 PM - 4 Jan 2019 180 Retweets 1,145 Likes
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  • 5
    Text - HowToBeADad MOW TO B Follow DAD @HowToBeADad [My wife and I searching for something] ME: I'll go look in the trash WIFE: Um, let me do it ME, head tilted: How can someone look through trash WRONG??? let me do it WIFE: 11:59 AM - 5 Jan 2019 DAO BLOATED 11 Retweets 69 Likes
  • 6
    Text - Rads Follow @FeelingEuphoric I can already tell that 2019 is gonna be wild. Told some guy on tinder his pictures remind me of Spider-Man 2 with Tobey Maguire and he took it as a COMPLIMENT 6:06 PM - 7 Jan 2019 TEH TEH 7 Retweets 240 Likes
  • 7
    Text - Anthony McHats Follow @The HatStore breaking up] me: is... is it because I broke your keyboard? her: ineedmyspace 7:19 AM 5 Jan 2019 433 Retweets 2,458 Likes
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  • 8
    Text - Hans Grubertron Follow @HansGrubertron MARRIAGE COUNSELOR: Have you tried phone sex? ME: Yes MARRIAGE CUNSELOR: And? ME: Your receptionist says I have to book appointments online in future 3:23 PM 3 Jan 2019 85 Retweets 383 Likes
  • 9
    Text - Jawbreaker Follow @sixfootcandy BRIDE: *tosses her wedding bouquet in my direction* ME: *dives out of the way* 12:32 PM - 7 Jan 2019 117 Retweets 380 Likes
  • 10
    Text - Jon Follow @ArfMeasures Me: What do you think of your haircut? Wife: I need more volume Me: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR HAIRCUT? 6:17 AM - 7 Jan 2019 294 Retweets 2,316 Likes
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  • 11
    Text - Boyd's BackyardTM @The BoydP Follow Hear me out, a help desk for old married men... 2:23 PM 7 Jan 2019 156 Retweets 366 Likes
  • 12
    Text - Jon Follow @ArfMeasures Neighbour: I see your wife took the garbage out last night Me: It's called date night and we had a nice time 9:19 AM - 5 Jan 2019 424 Retweets 3,037 Likes
  • 13
    Text - Scary Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy mominy Follow Marriage is a fun way to test your threshold for loud chewing and snoring. 7:11 AM - 4 Jan 2019 47 Retweets 331 Likes
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  • 14
    Text - Rodney Lacroix Follow @moooooog35 Wife: Ugh I gained 3 Ibs over the holidays. What about you? Me [looking at scale showing I actually lost a pound): I gained 4. 10:17 AM - 2 Jan 2019 320 Retweets 2,993 Likes
  • 15
    Text - Colin Follow @Colin_Roedel A modern romance story in 4 parts. No ts ok, and i was actually thinking obout it & talked to my dwl and was wondering if you wanted to cema Colin Com whare, to Paris @Colin_Roedel Yes Italked to your mom and she said you dient have any new years plans so you should fly to paris and hangout My HS girlfriend is off backpacking Ouch she dki me cold. And yeah I don't have anything in concrete plans but i mean idk thet's pretty crazy and also eepensive True but iare

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