Snarky Twitter Comedian's Rant, Hilariously Roasts Luxury Bike Owners

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    Physical fitness
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow Love putting my Peloton bike in the most striking area of my ultra-modern $3 million house
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    Text - Clue Heywood Follow @ClueHeywood I had my carpenter build a $9,000 finished wood riser for my Peloton bike in my glass-enclosed zen garden/home дym
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow I put my Peloton bike in the center of the panoramic living room window in my New York penthouse
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    Text - Clue Heywood Follow @ClueHeywood When we visited my parents for Christmas I had to put my Peloton bike right in the living room, they didn't have a home gym or a conservatory or anything ugh
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow A good place for your Peloton bike is between your kitchen and your living room facing the cactus garden so you always remember virtual spin class
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow You might ask why the windows in front of these Pelotons are so small. Unfortunately space on the yacht is limited and the gym is near the waterline. We manage
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow I took my Peloton bike to Europe and used it on the balcony of our $2,000/night Airbnb and honestly I felt like I was flying over London, you should try it
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    Text - Clue Heywood Follow @ClueHeywood I have a Peloton at home, at work, and also one placed by the ocean-facing living room windows of our four bedroom beach cottage
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    Text - Clue Heywood Follow @ClueHeywood Sometimes 'll move the Peloton bike into our gallery so I can spend time with my half gay husband while he reads Architectural Digest wearing combat boots
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow My Peloton is in the living room because it's my favorite work of art aside from the turquoise marble peacock I keep in the fireplace
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow The picture windows at our chalet provide breathtaking views from the Peloton bike. In the living room set behind it, all you can see is the Peloton bike.
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    Text - Clue Heywood Follow @ClueHeywood Probably the worst thing about putting a Peloton bike in my spotless huge kitchen is when my dumb kid interrupts the workout. Where is Consuela? She has one job!
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    Text - Clue Heywood Follow @ClueHeywood Sometimes I let the nanny ride my Peloton. But the solarium is my space, so she only can ride in the garage and only when she's disciplining my children.
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    Text - Clue Heywood Follow @ClueHeywood My bright and airy sunroom is a great place for the Peloton bike. I leave the arcadia door ajar so I feel like I'm actually riding a bicycle...outside!
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    Text - Clue Heywood Follow @ClueHeywood Last year we painstakingly remodeled a midcentury modern house in the hills, including furniture from the period. Then I put my Peloton bike right in the middle of the living room
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    Text - Clue Heywood Follow @ClueHeywood This is absolutely unacceptable Peloton placement. This appears to be a basement and not a solarium, conservatory, grotto, inglenook, or rumpus room.
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow I put the Peloton bike in the kitchen of our loft so I can get a workout and also cook the vegan three-bean tortilla soup recipe I downloaded from Goop.
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow In the mornings, after my housekeeper meticulously makes my bed, I like to ride my Peloton bike in the window of my high rise and literally look down my nose at people
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow Some people tell me that I should put my living room here because of the amazing view. I have to question their priorities. Who on earth spends more time on their couch than on their Peloton bike?
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow My husband says it's a fire hazard to have the Peloton bike blocking the doors from the living room to the veranda. He doesn't understand that the Peloton bike will be the first thing I save.
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    Text - Clue Heywood Follow @ClueHeywood Ironic that "Peloton" means a group of cyclists when my favorite way to cycle is alone in the guest house living room at our Brentwood mansion.
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    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Follow Our architect suggested a Peloton nook for our pied-à-terre. They do not belong in nooks. They belong where an observatory would be, if you didn't own a Peloton. We fired him 220 22 5 1/2 4'-1" 5 1/2" 3'-4 1/2" 3'-4 1/2" 204 25 dAB.l6a b DEA PELOTON 204 Па ь
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    Text - The "E" stands for "Awesome" Follow @Elvis Replying to @ClueHeywood Thread of the year

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