The Only Way to Make a Drunk Monkey Story Better is to Give it a Knife!

The local fire department in Patos, Paraiba, Brazil were called to a bar Feb. 5 with a report of an aggressive monkey with a kitchen knife chasing men.

Lt. Col. Saul Laurentino of the Fire department said the monkey drank a glass of rum at the bar before picking up the knife and chasing after men, leaving the women alone.

"It was a bar staff oversight that ended with the monkey drinking some rum and taking the knife," said Laurentino.

Sounds like some of the bar patrons were just trying to enjoy the simple joys of a monkey knife fight: