23 Dadtastic Jokes and Moments That Go Father Than Ever Before

  • 1
    Text - Barry Zuckerkorn @Jawwwwwsh just saw a dad in cargo shorts ona riding mower shoot some finger pistols at another dad on a riding mower what a fucking power move
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  • 2
    Text - Zack @Mr_Kapowski 7 y/o daughter: Why don't they have tape for your burrito but you could eat the tape? And now I know what Einstein's parents felt like. RETWEETS LIKES 1,079 2,106
  • 3
    Text - ditch pony @molly7anne My dad is vacuuming while chewing sunflower seeds and he's spitting them out right in front of the vacuum to clean them up as he goes. I have so much still to learn from this man that gave me life.
  • 4
    Text - Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22 I wear a clown mask to sleep just in case one of my kids has a nightmare and comes to sleep in our bed. RETWEETS LIKES 712 1,475
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  • 5
    Text - Bekah Owsley @bekahowsley Just overheard my 54 year old dad tell my 58 year old aunt "don't tell mom" So apparently that's a lifelong thing
  • 6
    Text - Exploding Unicorn XplodingUnicorn [finally gets the car seat installed correctlyl Me: Where's the baby? Wife: In college RETWEETS LIKES 2,371 4,702
  • 7
    Text - Justin Guarini @JustinGuarini Hang on guys, I think my toddler is getting to the good part of his four hour long story and I don't want to miss it RETWEETS LIKES 215 601
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  • 8
    Text - Danny Zuker @DannyZuker I'm constantly amazed at how different my twin daughters are. Lisa is so much more positive & confident than her sister Hog Face LIKES RETWEETS 魔中国配际 6,988 3,585
  • 9
    Text - bailee Follow @bailee_xox So my friend got her phone taken away and her dad slid this under her door 10:50 PM younot answerins why me? are 10:55 M Oh wait 10:50 PM 10:58PM
  • 10
    Text - The Glad Stork @TheGladStork I cut the crust off my daughter's PB&J and I swear to god I heard her whisper that I'm her bitch now. RETWEETS LIKES 319 553
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  • 11
    Text - Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair. RETWEETS LIKES 27,626 48,290
  • 12
    Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland It's weird how we tell kids not to lie then tell them how good the picture they drew is. RETWEETS LIKES 471 1,058
  • 13
    Text - Will Rodgers @WilliamRodgers 3 year old: What's neglect mean? Me: Shhh daddy's playing video games RETWEETS LIKES 443 988
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  • 14
    Text - Rodney Lacroix @moooooog35 nmatare I'm coaching my son's soccer team because it's important that he knows I'll swear at other kids, too. RETWEETS LIKES 837 392
  • 15
    Text - jungwildeandfree: thisismedisappearing: I stubbed my toe and naturally I screamed "MOTHERFUCKER" and then my dad poked his head out of the livingroom and said "you rang?" hats off for the ultimate dad joke
  • 16
    Text - The Cisco Kid @TheCiscoKidder I knew it was time to vacuum when the baby rolled over and looked like an everything bagel RETWEETS LIKES 1,057 2,084
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  • 17
    Text - Brian Gaar @briangaar The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate RETWEETS LIKES 3,769 10,741
  • 18
    Text - Dad and Buried @DadandBuried I'm at my parenting best when I randomly yell out "be careful!" every few minutes without looking up from my phone. RETWEETS LIKES 2,457 3,671
  • 19
    Text - neni @villan3w my dad has all his kids in a gc just to say things like this Dad Good morning My sperms
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  • 20
    Text - New Eric @ericsshadow My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted. RETWEETS LIKES 758 2,104
  • 21
    Text - Svenn Amish @amishschool Wife said I should talk to the kids about drugs so I told them how faking a back injury would usually get you some Vicodin. RETWEETS IKES 272 460
  • 22
    Text - Alex Geer @geer_alex KILLER DAD JOKE ALERT: I'm walking into Publix and a guy offers me the empty cart he was using and says "left some gas in it for you" #outofcontroldads
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  • 23
    Text - lemonlime @emmeline77 my dad just greeted another dad by saying "hey tough guy" and the other dad replied by saying "they let you in here??" lemonlime @emmeline77 1d He has greeted a total of 3 men with "hey tough guy" so far
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