Woman Arrested By CIA For Asking To Speak With Agent Penis

Ever just wake up, call an Uber, and decide you're going to take a field trip to the CIA headquarters to demand permission to speak with Agent Penis?

Yes, you read that one right. The Independent reports that a woman was arrested after repeatedly trying to trespass CIA headquarters to have a chat with Agent Penis. Jennifer Hernandez, 58, says that she had already applied for a job at the agency, and was scheduled to meet with a recruiter at the CIA complex in Langley, Virginia.

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Posted by mattstaff

1
Either Jennifer Hernandez is off her rocker, OR the CIA plays games too.

Maybe, just maybe they were trying to give Hernandez the old "ghosting" maneuver by telling her she could meet with Agent Penis. It was up to her to stubbornly move forward, and aggressively demand that such a meeting occurred. But hell, who really knows with this kind of stuff right?

Via Pexel
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What we DO know:

Ms. Hernandez's story didn't hold up, and the CIA let her know that no such meeting was about to go down, she STILL tried to make it happen; still tried to make it happen after a very serious threat of being charged with trespassing. She deserves some kind of props for her commendable display of ignorance at that point, man. Apparently after that threat by the CIA, she stormed off into the horizon of her own confusion, and returned once again on May 1st in a Lyft, to follow up again!

Via Pexel
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She RETURNS!

Yes, after being told to leave on May 1st, she returned the next day in an Uber. She left once more after being interviewed by the police, and when she returned on May 3rd (are you kidding me with this?!) she was escorted to a bus stop by the authorities. When they got there, she refused to leave. At that point, she'd exhausted all of her freebies, and was booked with a Class B misdemeanor, before she was transferred to a city jail in Alexandria.

Via Giphy