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24 Weird Ex-Boyfriend Messages Will Have You Saying, "You Definitely Dodged A Bullet There"

And if you're not thinking they definitely dodged a bullet, you'll simply be scratching your head in complete confusion... because we sure are! Hissing from under the bed? Being jealous of the president of Mexico? What the actual heck?

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  • 1
    Text - Follow He asked me 10 times every day who I respected more: veterinarians or veterans?
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    Via Izismile

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  • 2
    Text - Follow He gave me with a phone that was bought on credit for my birthday. I ended up paying for it myself.
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    Via Izismile

  • 3
    Text - Follow He told me to delete all of my Instagram photos he took (he wasn't in the pictures).
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    Via Izismile

  • 4
    Text - Follow After we broke up (we lived in different countries), he burned all my stuff he still had because his mom told him I had cast a love spell on him.
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    Via Izismile

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  • 5
    Text - Follow He cut the internet cable so that I "couldn't text other guys."
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    Via Izismile

  • 6
    Text - Follow He gave me flowers for my birthday. Soon, when he was drunk he admitted that he had forgotten about my birthday and taken the flowers from a memorial.
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    Via Izismile

  • 7
    Text - Follow We lived together in my apartment. After breaking up, he took everything he bought. Even a piece of cabbage that was still in the fridge.
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    Via Izismile

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  • 8
    Text - Follow A year into the relationship, I accidentally saw that my phone number in his cell was labeled "Jackie, Apt. 129."
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    Via Izismile

  • 9
    Text - Follow He was jealous of the President of Mexico.
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    Via Izismile

  • 10
    Text - Follow He was furious when I took the "Monopoly" game after we broke up.
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    Via Izismile

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  • 11
    Text - Follow One year after we broke up, he texted me. He asked me if there was a chance that we would be able to get back together because he still loved me. I said no. 2 weeks later, he got married!
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    Via Izismile

  • 12
    Text - Follow He came home drunk. We had a fight... He went in the bathroom and called the police. He told them that someone wanted to kill him and was holding him hostage. The police had a good laugh when they came (especially when they saw he was 160 lbs heavier and much taller than me).
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    Via Izismile

  • 13
    Text - Follow We took a walk late at night. Then his mom called him and asked me to walk him home because it was late.
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    Via Izismile

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  • 14
    Text - Follow He said he couldn't tell his friends about our relationship because he was in the drug business and he didn't want to put me in danger.
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    Via Izismile

  • 15
    Text - Follow 9 months after we broke up, he asked me if I was pregnant
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    Via Izismile

  • 16
    Text - Follow He asked me to lend him $200 for flowers for me.
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    Via Izismile

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  • 17
    Text - Follow He asked me to go on a walk and then canceled because he didn't like his pants and he didn't want to wear them.
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    Via Izismile

  • 18
    Text - Follow He burned the photos of us together and the presents and filmed it on video.
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    Via Izismile

  • 19
    Text - Follow He broke up with me right before I turned 18 years old. One month later, he called me and said he didn't have money for a present, so he decided to break up with me.
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    Via Izismile

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  • 20
    Text - Follow When we were getting divorced, he counted the teaspoons from our set. One was missing and he told me to return it when I found it.
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    Via Izismile

  • 21
    Text - Follow We talked, walked, he gave me flowers, we went to the movies. We had a fight and he sent me his card number and the sum of money I owed him for the tickets and the flowers.
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    Via Izismile

  • 22
    Text - Follow He came home really drunk. We talked, he didn't like something, and he left me.... to live under the bed. He also hissed at me from time to time. From UNDER THE BED!
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    Via Izismile

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  • 23
    Text - Follow He came back from Hawaii with his back scratched. He told me he had fallen on a cactus.
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    Via Izismile

  • 24
    Text - Follow Once, I hurt my arm in his car and broke my nail. A week after we broke up, he sent me a photo of the nail he found in the car, "I found your nail, you need it? I can bring it to you."
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    Via Izismile
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