Scapegoat of the Day: Millennials Reign of Terror Continues as They Kill Fabric Softener
If we could just make a list of all the things millennials have done to make the world a worst place:
- Gave themselves participation trophies
- Personally directed the Star War prequels
- Killed fabric softener
Is there a more dangerous demographic?
According to The Wall Street Journal, millennials aren’t buying fabric softener, which is a problem for sensitive skin and Proctor and Gamble stockholders every where. Luckily, millennials also invented the rebranding, so that should quell the malicious demographics’ bloodlust.
Now, there are several explanations for why millennials aren’t buying fabric softener. For instance, some say that they don’t know what fabric softener is for, leading to a 15% drop in sales between 2007 and 2015. Others say millennials are more “eco conscious” and want fewer chemicals in the house. Even fewer say that millennials just follow the wash instructions on their clothes, which say nothing about fabric softener.
Rise of athleisure = death of fabric softener https://t.co/C8Hj4caRAV pic.twitter.com/X11LAzuOco
— Sara Germano (@germanotes) December 16, 2016
Things just keep getting worse, as the piece points out, millennials are not only reading, but also following direction and saving a few bucks.
Frankly, we’ve all had enough of millennials and their thrifty ways. Excuse me while I raise my fist to the sky and shake!
Some on the internet are actually accusing fabric softener of not actually doing something, explaining for the decline in sales. As if these selfish, me-me-me-me, whiny millennials actually need their products to do something.
You know, when the baby boomers were kicking, they didn’t need a product to do anything. A pet rock was all they needed to have a good time.