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21 Drunk & Morning After Texts That Are As Dubious As They Are Entertaining

It's been almost a decade since people started enjoying the schadenfreude and humor of reading drunk texts, but this sht just doesn't get old. And fortunately for all of us, until we all need to be certified sober to send texts, there will be an endless amount of wild and hilarious exchanges. 

Warning: some of these *might be falsified, but we're gonna let that slide because they're still funny as hell.

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  • 1
    Text - (214) Sex on bubble wrap best decision ever.
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  • 2
    Text - (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
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  • 3
    Text - (703): Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
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  • 4
    Text - (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
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  • 5
    Text - (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
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  • 6
    Text - (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!... .yeah kinda akward
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  • 7
    Text - (563): Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stal.. In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
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  • 8
    Text - (219): rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
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  • 9
    Cartoon - (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
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  • 10
    Text - (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next.
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  • 11
    Product - (781) I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
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  • 12
    Text - (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
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  • 13
    Text - (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.
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  • 14
    Text - (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
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  • 15
    Text - (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
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  • 16
    Text - (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
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  • 17
    Text - (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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  • 18
    Product - (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
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  • 19
    Event - (774) i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
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  • 20
    Text - (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.
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  • 21
    Text - (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
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