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Funniest Tweets Written By Women Last Week (October 7th, 2019)

Every week, we bring you the funniest tweets written by women this week. Because there are some jokes that only women can tell... Enjoy!

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  • 1
    Text - @jem_jemxoxo I've just convinced my mate that the inside of a cheese grater is in fact, a sick new nightclub Trippy as fuck... where is it? 16:47 Franco Trippy as fuck... where is it? Shoreditch x 16:47 Shall we go??? 16:47 Franco You Shall we go??? Yes please 16:52 Imagine being on dmt in that gaff, probably freak out 16:52 I reckon you'd have a grate time 16:54 6:55 pm 3 Oct 2019 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 2
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    Via Jen Lewis

  • 3
    Text - helena @freshhel obsessed with whatever tax bracket it is where Adult bathrooms are beach themed and then kids bathrooms are more specifically fish themed 3:23 am 30 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 59.6K Likes 5.3K Retweets
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    Via @freshhel

  • 4
    Text - Anna Drezen @annadrezen I'm not saying I'm not hot, I'm just saying most women are 100% okay with their husbands being friends with me 1:22 am 3 Oct 2019 Twitter for iPhone 3.7K Likes 235 Retweets
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  • 5
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  • 6
    Text - Stephanie Ortiz @Six_Pack_Mom One minute you're young & carefree, and the next, you're googling "what is a VSCO girl?" and still not understanding it 5:37 am 3 Oct 2019 Twitter for iPhone 618 Likes 139 Retweets
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  • 7
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  • 8
    Text - Mave @MavenofHonor It is a truth universally acknowledged, that when you're looking at your phone next to someone who's sleeping, you will inadvertently click on a video 5:41 am 2 Oct 2019 Twitter for iPhone 196 Likes 24 Retweets
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  • 9
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  • 10
    Text - Abby Heugel @AbbyHaslssues I've never wanted to know the answer to anything bad enough to ask a question at the end of a meeting that's running 15 minutes over time. 2:59 am 2 Oct 2019 Twitter Web App 195 Retweets 1.2K Likes
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  • 11
    Text - Kie @KielyHealey buying a pregnancy test is just paying a late fee for your period 6:38 pm 4 Oct 2019 Twitter for Android 510 Likes 79 Retweets
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  • 12
    Text - Rachel McCartney @RachelMComedy Before coffee: I want to die After coffee: Alright! Let's buy the rope 11:44 pm 30 Sep 2019 Twitter for Android 87.4K Likes 14K Retweets
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  • 13
    Text - Skylar @hxrtbitch can y'all please stop getting dumb bitches pregnant. im tired of seeing "my little angle" 11:45 pm 2 Oct 2019 Twitter for iPhone 338.9K Likes 49.6K Retweets
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  • 14
    Text - Catherine Cohen @catccohen fall is about trying to dress like a slutty old timey secretary for 2 weeks 12:39 am 27 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 4.9K Likes 392 Retweets
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  • 15
    Text - Shenanigans @Shenanigans_luv I'm not lazy I'm energy efficient 12:40 am 1 Oct 2019 Twitter for iPhone 253 Likes 81 Retweets
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  • 16
    Text - pony @tigersgoroooar in the 1980's our moms were literally always on the phone with someone what tf were they always talking about, magnum p.i.? shoulder pads? 2:18 am 29 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 38 Retweets 312 Likes
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  • 17
    Text - Rachel Sobel @whinecheezits I've never been held hostage, but I have gotten trapped in my own sports bra while getting undressed. 9:34 pm 28 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 206 Likes 47 Retweets
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  • 18
    Text - Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett me: i am overwhelmed, dying, too many tasks, help, what can be done, will i live this way forever after replying to one email: magnificent, what a powerful work horse, can't be stopped, time to celebrate with a beer, reward this titan of industry 6:51 pm 29 Sep 2019 Twitter Web App 5K Likes 725 Retweets
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  • 19
    Text - Kristin @FeralCrone Very disappointed to learn that 'malingering' does not mean 'bad at hanging around' 10:22 pm 30 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 175 Likes 29 Retweets
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  • 20
    Text - Kashana @kashanacauley Every time I miss two hours of news, I fear they've committed 80,000 more crimes, pears are now taxed at 400% and we're never speaking to Hawaii again. 8:33 am 4 Oct 2019 Twitter for iPhone 315 Retweets 3.2K Likes
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