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Funny Tweets and Memes Primed For Giving That Day Some Sunshine (27 Images)

Brighten up that day with some jokes from the good ol' twitterverse. There's family drama, mistaken avocado enthusiasts, and bouncy castle aficionados. For another blast of humor and a few puns, here are dumb and funny jokes that are technically correct.

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  • 1
    Text - joshmosh @diss_guy My dad told my sisters new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out when she dumped him. I'm still cracking up. 5:48 PM 8/4/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 2
    Text - Kent Graham @KentWGraham Just listed my wife as my emergency contact and added the note "please text, she doesn't answer calls." 2,214 4:59 AM - May 15, 2018
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  • 3
    Text - SAAKASTIK SATHfI @Sarkastik_Jxsh Ludacris told me "If you ain't got no money, take yo broke ass home" and I've been home ever since
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  • 4
    Text - taylor @taylorcrispi1 mike pence's full name is mechanical pencil
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  • 5
    People - Mr. Drinks On Me @Mr DrinksOnMe Every drive with my wife. Me, driving peacefully My wife gasping for no reason, almost making us crash 183 8:59 PM - Aug 3, 2019
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  • 6
    Text - Cat Damon @CornOnThe Goblin [calls my sister while babysitting her kids] are they allowed to smoke inside
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  • 7
    Text - Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42 lying in bed after sex] Sorry for all the screaming, I'm afraid of the dark 7:37 PM - Sep 1, 2017 1,091 people are talking about this 2,772
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  • 8
    Text - The Jabroni Times @JabroniTimes Me: I'm actually kinda drunk, so l should probably take it easy so that I can drive home later My boss: what
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  • 9
    Product - 09:43 O o 44 minutes ago Bouncy castle $250 T5J 3N9 MESSAGE Awesome condition bouncy castle, works great even for adults! only selling because my old lady is pretty pissed about me putting a bouncy castle in our living room considering I'm a grown up and said she would leave me if I didn't start acting my age. Hate to see it go.
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  • 10
    Text - Brandon the Cow @Brampersandon_ ME: she's jealous of me because i can play Mr. Brightside using nothing but armpit farts WIFE: not true ME: I'll do it right now WIFE: please don't MARRIAGE COUNSELOR (visibly excited): you can express yourself freely here brandon
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  • 11
    Text - Follow If my wife left me for Beckham I would totally get it. I'd help her pack and wish them well and hopefully we'd stay friends and I could come over for a BBQ and maybe get close enough to smell him. You can't let another man come to your wedding with this much sauce. Outrageous, I'd call security.
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  • 12
    Face - Baby Stark doo doo doo...baby Stark doo doo doo...baby Stark doo doo doo....baby Stark adam the.creator
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  • 13
    Text - The Pale Space Rider @truegritrumble LL (Haunted House Tour) ME: *pointing with horror* Does anyone else see that? GUIDE: Again, that's not a ghost, but a real child on the tour. 10/19/17, 3:22 PM 554 Retweets 1,621 Likes
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  • 14
    Adaptation - Lucy @doodlingglass My dad is an electrician in a zoo and look how he spent his morning I'm crying Show this thread Alex, but online @Alex_but_online Your dad small as hell
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  • 15
    Text - Steven (witha ph) @SJKSalisbury Another wooden ball. Would it kill the makers of avocados to include a different toy, like a mood ring or a novelty eraser?
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  • 16
    Fictional character - My girlfriend works in a sushi restaurant. She's pretty
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  • 17
    Text - Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_ The next time your manager yells at you, look them dead in the eye and boop their nose. 9 times out of 10 they will laugh and remember how much they love you.1 time out of 10 you will be fired on such a level you'll never be able to get a job again. But you gotta take those odds
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  • 18
    Text - Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit Little secret about me: my answer to the question "would you like a receipt" is based on absolutely nothing and changes all the time 7/29/18, 8:56 PM 9,284 Retweets 56.3K Likes
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  • 19
    Text - clean slate @PleaseBeGneiss [after sex] Her: was...was that your first time? Me:no of Course not Her: you shouted "yay this is fun" like eight times Me: *unwrapping a jolly rancher* well I noticed you said it zero times
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  • 20
    Text - nikk. @nikkideejay Why is naked pronounced naked but baked is not pronounced baked
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  • 21
    Text - Me: moves picture 0.000005 centimeters in word Literally everything in the document: Parkour!
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  • 22
    Hair - I Photoshopped Steven Tyler into the witches from Hocus Pocus and he fits in perfectly. MOesse MCJesse
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  • 23
    Text - clo $$$ @chloebw223 i wish we could have subtitles in real life bc i really can't hear anything anyone is saying to me
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  • 24
    Text - Kyle @KylePlantEmoji [first day as a bartender] Customer: I'll have a martini, dry Me, staring at all the liquid ingredients: I don't know how to tell you this 23/05/2018, 06:55 52.5K Retweets 230K Likes
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  • 25
    Text - Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood Probably the most realistic part of Forrest Gump was when he graduated from the University of Alabama. 8:16 PM 7/29/19 Twitter for iPhone 259 Retweets 2,054 Likes
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  • 26
    Text - Dan @ehdannyboy Wife: So the genie gave you just the one wish? Мe: yер Wife: And you couldn't think of something, I don't know, slightly beneficial? Me: Susan, there is nothing MORE beneficial! My cat: yeah susan fuck off
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  • 27
    Text - Joel Wade @Wahday44 When I die and y'all go through my search history, you'll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn't sure I was using correctly.
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    MinWage
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