Acting Like Animals: IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY?

Daaaaaaad dad dad daaaaaaad daaaaad ssssstoooopp!

Oh, phew, okay, you turned it off. I mean, I'll be honest, that kinda felt good and I always have a terrible time grooming that particular spot on my head by myself but DEAR CEILING CAT that awful sound that monstrous contraption makes. Can you trade your current model in for a quieter one, please? Please?