Nosey neighbor gives German Shepherd owner unsolicited training advice and touches the dog without permission: 'Who puts their hands around the mouth of an unfamiliar dog like that???'

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Jun 13, 2026 7:30 AM EDT

Why do people think dogs are just sidewalk decorations for them to judge, approach, and touch without warning or permission?

Dogs are living, breathing, feeling creatures. They're different than us, for sure, but they're as much individuals as any person you know. And it's what one woman on the r/germanshepherds community knows about her German Shepherd, Riot. As far as what she tells about him, he's far away from behaving as his name might suggest. He's not causing any riots, isn't acting aggressively, and is generally a very well-behaved and well-trained good boy. But that doesn't stop one nosey neighbor, who doesn't even own a dog, from treating Riot as if she can do whatever she wants with him. And that's a big no-no.

There's something very basic that people don't understand about personal space and boundaries, and that these unwritten rules don't apply to humans alone. Dogs, cats, and even pet bunnies can have very particular views about who may or may not enter their personal space, pet them, and generally be around them. Not because they're snobs, but because different animals have different wants and needs when it comes to this subject. Yes, including humans.

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    Cheezburger Image 10637881344
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    I had an experience tonight while walking my Shepherd and I want to know if I'm thinking about it wrong - so share your perspective with me!
    via Dani_elley
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    Cheezburger Image 10637880832
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    I was out waking Riot and as we were passing someone's home, he saw a cat sitting in the yard. He will sit and stare for a minute when he sees prey animals but generally is very good & will continue on his walks after a few
    via Dani_elley
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    moments when I say "let's go, Riot." At no point were we in her yard - this whole interaction took place on the sidewalk & the easement, in case that it relevant.
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    Cheezburger Image 10637879296
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    Right when I told him it was time to go, the woman who lives there came walking toward us, holding her giant shovel, with a second cat trailing behind.
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    Two kitties is a lot of stimulus so I gently used the handle on his harness to direct him toward the middle of the sidewalk, away from kitties, and intended to continue on our walk.
    via Dani_elley
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    However, this woman decided to talk to me to espouse the necessity of gentle leaders, repeatedly telling me he is "too much dog" for me. I am 5' tall & probably around 120-125lbs. and this woman was a bit smaller than me.
    via Dani_elley
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    I tried not to take offense and was friendly, explaining that I know what they are but we do just fine with his no pull harness. He also listens to voice command 80% of the time and he is just a d In good, even-tempered boy.
    via Dani_elley

  • There's one thing about responsible dog owners that we really appreciate, and that is that they know their dog like no other person. Sure, there are also many bad dog owners out there, and they should do better, but mostly - dog parents know their dog children. And it's not that hard to recognize which type of dog owner you talk to, once you actually listen. Which is what this neighbor didn't do. It doesn't come off like she approached the woman to listen and learn if she's a responsible dog owner. It seems like she went there to preach, judge, and break any personal boundaries this German Shepherd has.

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    One of the cats continued to approach and Riot jumped a little because he was excited - it was fine. I thanked her, said I would look into it, and tried to leave.
    via Dani_elley
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    At that point, she got super close to me & Riot, approaching Riot from behind and she PUT HER HANDS ON HIS SNOUT.
    via Dani_elley
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    A German Shepherd is lying on the grass in the park, head perked up while looking at something off-frame, depicted by a model dog.
    via Jennifer_Sharp

    A German Shepherd is lying on the grass in the park, head perked up while looking at something off-frame, depicted by a model dog.

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    He recoiled a little bit because he was startled but that was all, no snapping or growling or response other than being taken aback by having a strangers hands on his face.
    via Dani_elley
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    We stood there for just a few more moments before I was finally able to just leave. I know I should have left sooner and just avoided the whole interaction.
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    Nothing bad happened but I am furious and I wish I would have stood up for myself more. Who does that?? Who puts their hands around the mouth of an unfamiliar dog like that???
    via Dani_elley
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    Am I wrong to be upset? Was this lady just giving some friendly advice or am I right to feel insulted?
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    My personal opinion is that domestic cats are ecologically devastating & should be kept inside but I don't go around offering my unsolicited opinion to strangers who are friendly or minding their own business.
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    Thanks for reading if you made it through all that!
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    A woman and a German Shepherd dog playing with a ball in the park, represented by models.
    via Marcin Jucha

    A woman and a German Shepherd dog playing with a ball in the park, represented by models.

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    Khaosius0 If anything, you're underreacting. You have every right to be upset, it's pretty established these days that you always ask permission
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    before interacting with another animal, not to mention if your dog was reactive it could have ended poorly.
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    Realistically, no one approaches someone else saying they need to change their methods of handling from a place of concern, she was being condescending to you.
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    Don't be upset yourself, freezing in the moment is super common, especially if you're not sure how far you want/should escalate.
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    My advice is to just ignore people that start conversations like that and move away from them; they're not entitled to your time or conversation.
    via Khaosius0

  • The advice here is what we would give to any dog parent in a similar situation. Sure, nothing has escalated to the point where the dog was sensing danger (just extreme uncomfortable unease), but this is exactly why, in these “grey area” situations, you shouldn't beat yourself up for not reacting the way you wanted to. It's confusing, especially if you've never experienced anything like this before. The best thing to do is disengage - both for your sake, and your dog's. These people just don't deserve your time and effort.

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    Model woman walking with an excited German Shepherd dog on a rural pavement with tall plants on their side.
    via studioroman

    Model woman walking with an excited German Shepherd dog on a rural pavement with tall plants on their side.

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    Mysterious-Oil-9619 You are spot on. This woman sks. If she was truly worried, she wouldn't be ushering her cats towards your dog. She
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    sounds like one of those insufferable people who will find any reason to tell someone they are doing something wrong. I would be VERY upset if someone put their hands around my dog's snout.
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    Listen to your gut. But I do think you ultimately did the right thing by walking away. Avoid this a-he and continue doing what is best for you and your dog. He is very cute.
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    Dani_elley OP He is such a sweet pea. He actually hid behind me once because a chihuahua was growling at him. I was briefly tempted to take him back under cover of darkness to let him sh in her yard & not pick it up but I won't actually do something like that. The thought did make me feel better though. lol
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    W_Silver2356 There is actually a country-rock song by Tanya Tucker called "You Don't Do It" about this kind of thing. One of the lines goes something like "You don't do it.... BUT YOU THINK ABOUT IT". And we all do.
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    Model German Shepherd dog and young woman are sitting on the sidewalk as she pets him.
    via Hirurg

    Model German Shepherd dog and young woman are sitting on the sidewalk as she pets him.

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    East-Initial9066 The only people who think a GSD is "too much dog" for someone based on physical size and stature alone doesn't know how to handle dogs.
    via East-Initial9066
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    Tasty-Republic-582 IMO ignore and keep walking. When people try to approach me and my shepherd I typically will acknowledge and keep walking. I usually have my toddler with us in a stroller and I don't like to stop walking.
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    Dizzman1 B ... You touch my dog's face imma let him be a dog! And no court will convict. Having said that... What she did was about as uncool as it gets. Here's just a few thoughts I have on the whole thing.
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    When I walk my guy... He can sniff whatever "static" stuff he wants. (If it's a sniffing walk vs a WALK walk) He can look at other animals when we walk past but those are the moments when we don't linger. Too much opportunity for him to have an unexpected reaction. Those are the
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    moments when the only thing that matters is him being totally focused on me. Letting them linger let's them think about other things they oughtn't!
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    Me personally, we're a prong collar family. I've had a few experiences where a larger dog in a body harness just pulled away from owner and came after my dog. So in my
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    mind... A harness like that (regardless of size of the dog handler) just won't keep the dog back if the intrusive thoughts win. Good luck with nosy neighbor.
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    Model German Shepherd dog lying on the grass between trees, looking directly at the camera.
    via Iurii

    Model German Shepherd dog lying on the grass between trees, looking directly at the camera.

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    Dani_elley OP Yeah, I was doing a mix of freeze & fawn in my interaction with her but the moment it was over I was furious. Who the f does that, ya know?
    via Dani_elley
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    He is just such an even-tempered, good natured pup. A few days after first adopting him, he ran off & I followed him to a neighbor across the street's yard where he was sitting with a litter of kittens and one time at an off leash trail he chased & caught a squirrel (to my horror) but he just... let it go, unharmed. I couldn't believe it.
    via Dani_elley
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    When we encounter reactive dogs on our walks, even if they begin to bark or growl at him, he just trots along. There are several off leash parks & trails in our city and he also knows if another dog is on a leash while he isn't, he can't approach that dog. Regardless, I am hyper- vigilant and maintain a strong grip on his leash at all times.
    via Dani_elley
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    When he was first adopted (he was 1.5 then & is almost 7 now), he would get overly excited or pull a lot when encountering prey animals. On walks he is rewarded for keeping his focus on me when we encounter them and keep walking & if we stop so he can watch (like today) he is rewarded for staying at heel position and obeying when I tell him it's time to go (if he refuses to walk & I have to use the handle for a few steps to motivate him, no treat/praise).
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    Tonight he was essentially being flanked by two cats & a woman with a shovel, and I was becoming uncomfortable on top of that, when she put her hands on his snout. I feel so incredibly lucky to have him & often come out of situations thinking what a d n good dog he is.
    via Dani_elley
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    On the porch it's a different story though, don't come up on his porch if Riot doesn't know you. That's the only time he really barks at anyone, if they get too close.
    via Dani_elley
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    Thank you for your comment! It has been reassuring to know that other people also think this woman was way out of line & my anger is justified.
    via Dani_elley

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dogs neighbors german shepherd drama neighborhood-drama bad neighbors doggo entitled Bad Neighbor entitled people
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