Top Ten Tumblr Posts Of Today (December 16, 2019)

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  • 01
    Text - shock dude i will never forgive craigslist for banning me after i wrote a post seeking a sworn nemesis. whoever reported that is obviously my nemesis but i was so pissed.
  • 02
    Text - thetowndrugdealer *sucks guys dick* *dies of nut allergy* ruraljackdaw did you know that proteins in brazil nuts can be transmitted sexually so if someone had an allergy and the guy had eaten brazil nuts then they could literally suck dick and die of a nut allergy applecranberry now I do gaaraofsburbia #the answer to a question i never asked
  • 03
    Text - tavrosbeyoncenitram: tavrosbeyoncenitram: I'm in a bookstore sipping on Apple Cider when the woman behind me gets on the phone and starts loudly discussing her X-rated 50 Shades Fanfic There are ninjas Every single male has a cock ring She calls erections "Man Tents" Its been almost an hour Its been two hours and its at the part where Harry Potter gets adopted by the Cullens
  • 04
    Cartoon - Not another speeding ticket SONIC I'd fight it in court but I don't think theyl accept "Gotta SONIC go fast" as a medical condition HEW sonicsis Is this show even real? Source: sonicsis 52,935 notes
  • 05
    Text - mj-irl: escapingintoabook: As an introvert, the best thing is finding someone who it isn't draining to spend time with It's interesting trying to explain to people who don't experience social exhaustion that there are some people who are less draining than others and then their are those who are mind numbingly exhausting. All socializing is not equal
  • 06
    Text - espionageshitposts ng ridiculous Imao i just read about a literal tug of war espionage is so fu between the british and the soviets over a microphone wire in the apartment of the british embassy's security officer like... the british discovered it and tried to pull the microphone out and the soviets in the neighbouring building felt them tugging it and started trying to pull it back and oh my god espionageshitposts from the fatal englishman by sebastian faulks: The British Embassy was doi
  • 07
    Text - Ingenium people shouldn't have to pimp themselves off to the military to afford college wtf dishwasher-in-a-suit They don't...lol autistic-dave-strider actually almost every teacher i've ever had has suggested joining the military because they'll pay for college and almost half of my class is either doing it or considering it but i hope that rock you live under has air conditioning
  • 08
    Text - Text - trevenant When a drunk girl outside a club bathroom speaks... you listen. If she tells you that you'll find love despite being hurt in the past? She's right. If she tells you to stop being so self-aware? She's right. They are the modern day Oracles at Delphi and must be taken at their every word guarded-affection outside after a lesbian concert (King Princess), i asked a girl dressed as jesus if she forgave me. a drunk girl ran up and slurred "i don't mean to interrupt, but you don
  • 09
    Text - Text - masteroffoolhardyplans Someone: did you go to class today? Me: I was physically present in the room. masteroffoolhardyplans Gey For Fey | Starting Postrgrad Oh... @commanderfreddy trying to do readings for class feels like that john mulaney bit where his wife asks him if he's watching the road and he's just like "I AM LOOKING THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD" like boy there sure are words in front of me rn huh
  • 10
    Text - Text - H historyfilia we think Greeks were a very rational people and all until we learn about the Buphonia, an Athenian ritual where a laboring ox had to be sacrificed but at the same time, this was considered a terrible crime. so when the priest killed it with an axe, he had to throw it aside and get the fuk out of there running for his life. then the rest of the people discovered the crime scene and blamed the axe, the only one present. the axe was immediately carried before the court

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